dont get me started!

9 months

2012-01-17T18:56:00.000-08:00

Exactly 9 months you left us for The Lord. There’s no word to describe how much I miss you that every time I think of you, I failed to control my tears. But I believe you’re happy there.

We’ll meet each other soon.

-Al-fatihah-

SO. 180112. 0105. Kajang, Selangor.

Ilham

2012-01-12T21:39:00.000-08:00

Gagalku ingat bila ia terjadi, tapi yang aku pasti kesannya ada hingga kini.

Ia seakan memanggil, aku terpanggil mendekatinya. Luarannya ringkas namun ia seakan memberi penerangan kepadaku. Seperti juga mind-reader, ia tahu apa yang membuat semak di fikiranku. Ku tatapi satu-satu, indah dan penuh hikmah.

Kra, puitis namanya. Pertama kali bertemunya, aku rasa ia misteri. Hingga kini, aku tidak nampak ia lagi. Bukan kerana tidak berkesempatan, tetapi…entah. Takut barangkali. Tapi takut apa? Terguris? Mungkin.

Ia membawaku keluar dari comfort zone yang dah lebih dua dekad lamanya. Sebab itu aku rasa ia misteri dan hebat. Aku degil orangnya, dan ia sedikit sebanyak membantuku, menyedarkanku akan kelamnya syurga duniaku.

Kebanyakan bait katanya membuatku terasa. Masakan tidak. Kita senang-lenang berada dalam kehidupan kurang betul yang membahagiakan, tiba-tiba, datang (dan aku merelakan) ia memberi hujah, menyuruh melakukan sesuatu yang sangat jarang aku lakukan. Sanggupkah aku menerimanya?

Di sebalik semua katanya itu, hatiku terdetik bila ia menyebut sesuatu yang pernah aku fikirkan dahulu, namun aku lupa kerana malas mengambil tahu. Dijelasnya panjang lebar, lapang dada hatiku terbuka.

Dan kini, aku menyahut seruannya perlahan-lahan. Walaupun lama dah kami tidak bertemu, aku yakin ia hidup – it’s a living soul. Kalau bukan padaku, aku yakin ia beranak pada orang lain. Aku pasti sesiapa yang pernah disapanya akan tercalit keinsafan yang mendoakan istiqamah dalam kehidupan yang patut dijalankan seperti digambarkan Al-Quran.

“Ya Allah, semoga aku terus istiqamah walaupun pada saat pendorong kebaikan kepadaku hilang dari pandangan.”

I wont forget you. InsyaAllah, akanku cari engkau lagi bila berkesempatan.

SO. UKM Bangi. 130112.

010112

2011-12-31T23:37:00.000-08:00

Woke up late, macam dah seminggu tak jumpa katil. Had a bad dream. Thought I'm ready if that really happens, hakikatnya, sentap jugak.

Mata kiri still bergerak-gerak, make it a week now. Kenapa eh?

First day of 2012, I cant believe i'm gonna be 23. It feels and sounds so damn old.

Ahh. Ngantuk lagi. Sungguh membuntukan.

Yes, awak cute. Tapi awak ni budak sangat. Mengeja pn tak khatam lagi.

SO. 1550. Kajang Selangor.

:DD

2011-12-21T07:49:00.000-08:00

When someone else did more-or-less the same genre like yours, but in different views and perspectives just to make everything clearer and wiser, plus ur goals and his are similar - knowledge-hunting for His love, u'd be amazed and thankful.

http://www.harunyahya.com/books/science/termites/termites_04.php

Thank you. :D

Falling slowly

2011-12-21T06:30:00.000-08:00

I don't know you but I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me and always fool me
And I can't react

You have suffered enough and what with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time, raise your hopeful voice
You had the choice, you've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'll paint it black

Games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time, raise your hopeful voice
You had the choice, you've made it now

SO. 211211. Kajang, Selangor.

131211

2011-12-13T00:55:00.000-08:00

Beautiful date yet a bad day indeed.

Fever. And first day of time of the month. So I'm physically and emotionally unstable. Tersadai kat rumah, kerja apepun x siap. Back-pain of already a week. And I'm hungry too. Nak masak xde minyak. Maka lengkaplah penderitaan gua. Feels like going home again this week, pastu taknak balik sini dah.

Haih. Nak buat ape ni? =.=

SO. 1709. Kajang Selangor.

What happened on 031211.

2011-12-04T08:17:00.000-08:00

1. It was Saturday. Had a good sleep the night before so I decided to go freshen up. And KLCC was chosen.

2. Loitering around is always easy but tiring, and this gets worse when I didn’t find my cup of tea on handbags as well as jeans.

3. Bought a top and a pashmina - out of my list. Argh.

4. I should start having milk in my everyday diet. My bones are cracking especially the ankles and fingers on the feet.

5. Salesmen of Isetan were I guess, charming, physically I mean. Was it a trick of the store to get more people attracted? I’d say it was.

6. Nobody wants to be sinned. But temptations are always there. And I failed to control myself. I feel bad. Isk.

7. Heard a conversation. Men change when they’re married? No more sweet talking, less understanding, tired of everything. Perhaps, patience sounds so bizarre to their ears as they only know to get mad easily. On whom? The wife, of course. One of numerous things I could not tolerate is, when a woman gets bullied. Gender-biased phenomena is still in our society? Pathetic.

"There's a side of me I wouldnt want you to know."

SO. 051211. 0019. Kajang, Selangor.

291111

2011-11-28T07:50:00.000-08:00

Self-quality time is slowly decreasing, and I hate this part of my life.

What I’m feeling right now reminds me of how wonderful my days were couple of years back. I still remember my first few days in the uni - getting late to classes, copying assignments, club meetings, choral speaking practices and much more. Final year was tough though. And I still bear in mind for every single bit of the experiences. That’s how I got here now.

Studying is never easy. Nevertheless, I still have some time off of books. I went jogging to ease my mind after hours of memorizing notes, I met up friends during weekends, and I slept like half-day long when there’s no class on certain days.

And I miss doing those. Now that I’m working, I have very little time for myself. I feel like I’m abandoning my own self-care – xde jogging dah, muka comot, skin rashes kena gigit serangga, lengkaplah penderitaan gua. I’d have to go for fieldwork every fortnight, and outdoor cases are unexpected - expedition, seminar and so on. I got fatigue on weekends, so I’d just rest at home. And watch tv. And browse thru facebook and email. And that’s it. Sounds pretty boring, and believe me, it is duller than it may sound.

If it is up to me, I don’t wanna do anything right now. I really wanna have my hands off of pen and test-pad. I just want to have a year break. How I wish it’d be possible.

For recent, it is not only the changing phase of studying to working. My life is undergoing differences in terms of the seriousness of every decision I make. Every single yes or no contributes to future. Yeah, just follow the flow you may say to lighten up the burden in your mind and heart. But how hard gambler we really are?

Had a chat earlier with one and only brother-in-law, Hairie. We talked randomly-my future other half, politics, science, development of Malaysia, religions and so on. When talking to him, I always take him as a spokesperson for Mars creatures. And yes, for some cases and situations, he gives me a contrast view compared to what I might be thinking as a Venus's. Since my love life has never been as easy one, he told me that

"Keep looking on."

I still remember his elaboration that makes him say the above statement, but I dont feel like spilling it out here. I prefer to keep it concealed myself.

“ Gua mahu lari jauh-jauh for few days, without hand phone so nobody is able to reach me. Wait. Where’s my calendar?”

SO. 0004. 291111. Kajang, Selangor.

2011.2011

2011-11-20T06:45:00.000-08:00

"Try not to depend on others sangat tau." - Somebody close, 171111.
I couldnt agree more.

And all I need is self-assurance, the answer of how to be independent.

Yes, I value self-quality time, as much as I value those important in my life.

Today's date is beautiful. Just like you. Thank u.

SO. 2305. Kajang, Selangor.

141111

2011-11-14T07:33:00.000-08:00

" Jujur, aku sedang makan hati. Tak mengapalah, ini mungkin hanya hasutan syaitan sahaja. Depa mana nak kita hidup suka ria senang happy happy. "

SO. 2347. Kajang Selangor.

Cliche but true

2011-10-30T02:16:00.000-07:00

“Tiada sebab pun untuk jatuh cinta.”

It sounds like damn cliché, but deep inside, I can hardly resist the truth behind the statement above.

Sometimes, you have someone who behaves like your soul mate, whom takes a very good care of you, who’s willing to go thru all sorts of troubles just to make you smile, whom eases your heart when you feel down and most importantly, whose actions and words capable to bring you to Jannah,

But,

You ended up liking someone whom you’re totally clueless about. The one with not-my-type characteristics, whom only fit as a buddy and only know what other people know of you, the one you’re wondering if he could stand holding your secrets without letting the cat out of the bag (and maybe u don’t even share stories with him coz you don’t feel like to) and much more traits you wouldn’t want to list them down.

“Jodoh itu rahsia Allah.”

It’s not that I’m ready to get married nor I now have met my other half, but it is my future and I’d be lying if I say I don’t think about it, if I careless about it. In the meantime, yes, I do crushing on someone. And I don’t know how to handle it.

But,

I’ll never ever do a love confession (I really hope so). Because…

1. If he doesn’t feel the same way, I’d lose our friendship.
2. It is said that “if we love a person, don’t tell him, coz Allah will lessen our love towards him. Instead, tell Allah. Allah knows whom we’re destined with.”

As Muslims, qada’ and qadar (fate) is something we’re thought to have faith in as it is determined by Allah the Almighty. Hidup mati, rezeki, dan jodoh itu kepunyaan semua makhlukNya. Nevertheless, Islam doesn’t teach its followers to just sit down without doing any efforts (depend solely on fate) to achieve what we want. Usaha, doa dan tawakkal - three words that completes how Muslims should carry their duties as Caliph of the Mundane, as Allah will not change our fate if we don’t change it ourselves.

And if, we still don’t get what we wished for, always bear in mind that,

He gives what we NEED instead of what we WANT.

Who else is the perfect organizer for every single thing on the universe?

SO. 301011. 1721. Kajang, Selangor.

J.A

2011-10-11T06:58:00.000-07:00

Seriously, like seriously, and I'm freaking serious, that

I am very much in love with Johan Asari. But who the hell is he?

I have always loved the persona of bad boys; the face, gel-less hair, manly voice, fan of shorts or three-quarter and such.

And the best part is, when u see them wearing Baju Melayu. I bet they really sell the piece.

My Tuesdays have never been boring since Cinta Elysa kicked its ass. Only to watch him this week, I postponed my nap even though my upper eyelashes almost met the bottom ones just now.

Johan Asari, seriously, kawen jom? ;)

SO. 111011. 2214. Kajang, Selangor.

Now

2011-10-04T08:40:00.000-07:00

1. I easily get fatigue nowadays. I feel old somehow.

2. Current crush: Johan Aasari aka Botak.

3. Works are piling hell up like they never exist before.

4. Days are challenging in the meantime, and I'm mentally and emotionally abused.

5. I really wanna get some break off. Pretending is freaking hard, man.

6. Shedding few pounds down sounds awesome. I just dont have the heart to do stretching and perspiring and I'm feeling lazy. Yeah. I'm soon to be a couch potato, I know. Stop telling me that.

7. I miss cycling and sitting up.

8. William is absolutely a mouth-watering restaurant. Stepping there again is a gigantic yes.

9. Current song: Someone Like You by Adele

10. Fucking bored. Tyra & Aina left Bangi for Rompin. And I'm probably the last men staying up now.

"Never mind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

SO. 051011. 0019. Kajang, Selangor.

Future sounds so scary

2011-08-15T03:34:00.000-07:00

One month plus to my degree convocation in September and I dont feel excited, yet. After three years of slaving myself to memorising notes and graphs, I am now hesitating of what future will make out of me. And apparently, biology isnt me. It might be the apple of many doctors and surgeons' eyes, but as for myself, it doesnt define who I really am. I do love some parts of bio fields or subjects; the ones related to human and health always attract my attention. But those associated with nature, for instance, botany and environment, so far, dont mesmerize me any further. I realised that my passion and capabilities wont collide, thus making things more complicated. I love maths, but I couldnt solve differential equation and calculus. At times, I found myself getting indulged in reading histories and laws, but I somehow failed to remember which parties had involved in World War II. Writing is what fills my leisure time, but my Bahasa or English is getting worst, due to lack of practises. The one that never ever had or is going to be something I want to treasure is of course, anything thats got to do with softwares, computer skills and information technologies intelligence. That might also be one of the reasons why I am not into games, at all.

If I opt for lecturer or teaching line, I almost get my future guaranteed. But, I guess satisfaction is what I'm gonna miss. If it is business line of which I wanted to do for so long, I ought to be extremely strong (someone advised me so) as risks are everywhere. Or else, be a policewoman, making true of late Tokyem's wish.

I am, urmmm, at my wits ends. Maybe it is way in the future that makes me feel like ''ahh. Its not like i'm gonna settle down everything today so whats there to be worried about.'' The only issue here, how the hell am I gonna answer this ''done for ur degree. Have u applied for spa?'' or ''if u really wanna do masters, whats next? other than being a lecturer, i mean.''

Oh man. This hari raya will sure be hell exhausting explanation (or might be eyes blinking as well) i'd do.

SO. 150811. 1838. BBU, JB.

What I miss?

2011-08-05T00:04:00.000-07:00

1. Writing small greeting notes, folding it up and putting it under a friend’s desk. Just like I used to do when I was in upper secondary school.

2. Marching. Sounds pretty crazy, but yeah, I had a bash at doing this for school sports day.

3. Having crush, during tuition classes or in the bus, heading home after school hours. Walking in the bazaar as it is now the fasting month, as I expected, I saw Rangga, the one I adored few years back. And he’s doing well I guess. Oh, he’s more tanned.

4. Watching people playing tennis and basketball. And as for myself, I miss cycling! These were what I did three years ago, in the matriculation period.

5. Wearing spectacles. I’m thinking of having glasses back again. Not because I’m sick of contact lenses, but yeah, an old-school frame is what I miss after a while abandoning it.

6. Reading Cleo. Final term early this year was so hectic that I couldn’t find my leisure time spending on what I’ve loved before. Last month’s cover was Rihanna and I hate her, so I want to get this month’s issue when I have the time. My English is getting from bad to worse, and I don’t feel right about it.

7. Losing weight. Okay, this sounds hell funny. I did diet five years back, the skinniest I’ve ever been (for me, skinniest is the lowest pounds I’d possibly achieve), it was in my first year that I really did sit-ups and I did jog quite some times when I was in my second year. And now, laziness is all over me, I swear I’m sort of don’t-really-care-what-I’m-consuming recently. Oh damn. I’m flabbier and easily languid, I know. But the will to shed few kilos down isn’t here, and this makes things harder.

8. Watching Ronaldo, not football. I’m not into Spanish League at all, so yeah, it has been a while since I last witnessed him performing superbly. There’re two games I had myself stayed up; Real Madrid was defeated 1-5 by Barca and then, it was a draw 1-1 for the similar involved teams in a match later which I’ve forgotten for which league.

9. Bare clean face. I’ve only known pimples at the age of 18. Before that age, acne was way too far from reaching my face, even if I didn’t wash my skin perfectly. I didn’t even have a proper facial wash at that time. If I’m behaving the same for now, blemishes would be so packed up and closed that they can greet each other. And some more, I do feel like leaving the house without any single face paint; no lip gloss, eyeliners, blusher or whatsoever. Not even concealer/compact powder if possible (possible here means I still have my confidence level up high).

10. Having a bone to pick up with. I miss arguing with someone who is capable of making me confused and desperate. I’ll be doing red herring when you see me out of my wits; it is when the title is yours. I hate losing and I wont give up easily, but deep inside, I admire people winning over me.

SO. 050811. 1511. BBU, JB.

020811

2011-08-03T02:26:00.000-07:00

Intentionally, I wanted to write something else; more to like, hmmm, letting the cat out of the bag, but doing that would raise questions marks before me later. And I’m tired of answering and explaining something I’m unsure of.

The only I can express now is that the one I’ve been talking in my previous posts is someone who is close to other girl, and he has many female friends. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up with someone I’ve never ever thought of. For sure I’m freaking jealous, but who is he to me?

It has been three times; I heard twice and I read once. I’m absolutely tired of holding in. But I’m afraid of whats gonna happen if I’m bursting this out. Friendship will no longer be on the list. He has been a great help as a buddy, and losing him would be hurtful.

It’s the time of the month, and I’m mumbling like an old nanny and I should stop typing shit over here.

Oh, this is the only that makes Onn's family to be ecstatic. With the birth of a niece, I've already had my title changed. I'm now an aunt! Kiddy, get well soon and cepatlah balik rumah! Duduk kat nursery pun bukannya ada mamat hensem kan. ;)

SO. 020811. 0024. BBU, JB.

H.L.O.V.A.T.E

2011-07-21T05:27:00.001-07:00

TheOtherKhairul (TOK).

That was a day I encountered his blog, the same day I fell in love with his writings. He made me think, and frankly speaking, he somehow has urged me to change. This stranger is indeed, a booster.

I never say people around me have no influence at all. They do, really. I'm not pious at all, but I believe, when we decided to be a better Caliph of the Mundane, He will show us the way.

TOK loves reading Hlovate, a novelist. I once wondered, what is so great about her? Is she really awesome? At that moment, I assumed, Hlovate must be a great inspiration to TOK.

Orang kata novel Hlovate ni macam baik, I mean, she's practicing dakwah thru her stories. Time goes by, makin ramai yang sebut2 nama dia, especially orang-orang yang memang suka baca novel. Sure dorg kenal Hlovate.

Almost three weeks back, wa masuk Seksyen Bakteriologi for internship. Sembang punya sembang, wa terpandang novel titled 5 tahun 5 bulan. Usha punya usha, Hlovate yang tulis. So since then, bila xde sampel baru yang datang, wa baca novel tu.

Days passed by. Memang betul apa orang cakap. Frankly, I wont rate that novel for full marks, 10/10. I'd give 8.7 maybe. Selama ni, novel yang wa baca akan ada ayat penyedap hati bila ada tragedi. Lets say ''biasalah dugaan hidup. Allah duga sbb dia sayang kita..."

Tapi pada wa, Hlovate tak tulis direct camtu. Dia akan amek petikan ayat Al-Quran and then, translate to malay. And ayat-ayat yang dia amek tu semua macam related dengan kronologi cerita. Somehow, wa rasa dia ni dulu macam belajar subjek Tafsir yang ada kat sekolah agama. Disebabkan wa tak faham Arabic language, wa rasa its a good effort bila dia buat translating tu. Yelah, berapa ramai yang baca surah tapi tak faham maksudnya? I'm not exempted.

Dia sembang cara halus, dakwah berhikmah. And also, up-to-date. What she's writing is what's happening in our world now. At the very least, she's making me aware of whats attacking our life at the moment.

Ahhh dont worry. Novel dia tak skema pun. U wont feel like reading Reader's Digest, I guarantee. :D

Thanks Dear Almighty, with these hands and eyes, I found an amazing blog that led me to an inspiring novelist.

SO. 210711. 2100. BBU, JB.

Opposite attracts? Maybe.

2011-07-08T03:19:00.000-07:00

Time flies. You slowly bare your true colours. And yes, many of them I've never ever seen. I'm your real stalker, and still, I guess, I aint know you enough. I wont say you disappoint me, but you just make me think a whole heck of a lot more.

You are so different from me where I bet our similarities are finger-counting. You love politics and I love gossips, you watch cartoon but I adore romantic comedies, I'm fairer (haha :p) and u're tanner. Ok fine, u're skinnier while I'm fleshier. Despite all these differences where I'm unable to understand u as whole, how can u be so attractive? ;)

SO. 080711. 1828. BBU.

300611

2011-06-29T20:38:00.000-07:00

Final day of my bornday month. I am now 22 years and 13 days.

Yesterday was fine, and the evening was hell awesome. I fed on bird’s nest drink and it was mouth-watering. Grateful enough to be given one bottle as a token of visiting KAV’s lab, I guess. Hahaha ;)

Later in the evening wasn’t so beautiful I assumed. Out of sudden, I didn’t feel well. Aches conquered all over my body, signs I might be having fever. Few weeks ago, I had a medical leave for the similar expected disease. I didn’t finish the pills given, so yeah. The virus/bacteria weren’t killed completely, and they strike again now.

If possible, I really want to avoid taking leave from my internship coz I did it once before and I felt so wrong and uneasy. Yes, I don’t feel like doing it again.
I’ve gotten some SGD for my Singapore trip this weekend; I really hope I can make it with a healthy physique.

Too many things happened and I couldn’t just grade them as coincidences. I think the time has come. Their love gradually changed me. Allah Dear Almighty, please, award me some inner strengths.

I’ve decided to not love MU or soccer any longer (but I might still be watching World Cup I guess). And I’m teaching myself to stop admiring Ronaldo or whoever. He’s still one handsome guy and I’d probably melt if I meet him. Haha But yeah, I feel it’s enough now. I’m not hating what I’ve loved before, I just wanna minimize the interest. Don’t worry people, I won’t slaughter you if you wanna talk about the sport; and I’ll be listening. :D

Currently playing, Perpisahan Ini from Aizat ft. First Edition.

SO. 300611. 1128. Parasitological lab, MVKJB

sing-along je lah jawabnya, bukan spore

2011-06-24T09:06:00.000-07:00

Seriously weyh, gua nak sangat pergi Singapore. walaupun terpaksa mengorbankan impian wa nak beli bb. :'(

Tapi kan, macam gua pernah cakap, tukar rm500 baru dapat 203 SGD. Not even half. :(

Gua ingat nak pergi sana sebab nak cari baju raya, kira nak jalan2 ah, singapore tengah sale skang. Then wa ngan member2 pun beriya-iya nak g next week. Kitorg nak pergi dua hari, so kena overnite sana. Kitorg usha lah HOTEL kat sana. Bapaklah mahal oiii. Kalau dah 2++ SGD, tukar duet ringgit dah jd bp kan. So bila dah divide 5, kuranglah mahal but still mahal jugak. Transportation and accommodation je dah almost 100 SGD sorang, tak termasuk fee atau game kat sentosa island tu ha. So tinggal 100 lagi je nak makan and beli barang. Dapat beli stokin je lah jwbnya. Wa xnk habiskan semua duet kat sana, nanti wa miskin lah di bumi sendiri. ecehh

Then kan, ktorg usha HOSTEL, ala yang duduk mcm kat dorm asrama tu. Memang ada yang murah, tp jauh dari city. Dah jumpa dekat dgn city, dia mixed dorm pulak, campur laki perempuan. So x bolehlah kan. Then dah jumpa yg female je, akak gua kata hostel x berapa nak selamat sebab duduk ramai2. Kalau dorm besar, ktorg akan duduk ngan orang luar so bahaya sbb mana tau ada orang bawak dadah ke, nanti satu dorm kena. Then dia kata hostel tu x besar mana, ada double-decker beds je. ruang solat xde. Toilet kat luar. Toilet tu wa x kesah, tp yg wajib ni wa kesah sket. Sbb dia kata even nak cari surau dlm shopping complex kat sana pun susah. Wa buntu haihhh.

Banyak sgt kena fikir and settlekan, wa pun xtau ktorg ni jd g sana ke x. =.=

Borak punya borak, bapak wa kata g batam je sebab bila tukar rupiah, boleh jadi kaya dapat juta2. Tapi g sana kena naik bot lah. HAHAHA *ketawa dlm kesedihan memikirkan adakah impian akan jadi kenyataan*

SO. 250611. 0040. BBU, JB.

How did my eyesbrows meet

2011-06-22T18:29:00.000-07:00

It has been two days watching The Arrival. And there are some parts of it that almost make my both eyebrows meet. Some left me with big question marks on my mind. Knowing that Dajjal were the ones conquering Britain and US before and soon, Israel, makes me speechless. I was left with lots of unsolved miseries, especially issues associated with political power and throne.

I’ve learned history when I was in secondary school, and The Arrival told a lot about World War II. And yes, I had a bad memory; I couldn’t recall what I’ve learned about it. And the series are talking about World War III that’s gonna happen (if Allah wills it) between two groups; the ones who believe in One God and the ones who believe in Satan (they believe God is only an illusion and human can be God). Surprisingly, the WWIII isn’t between monotheistic faiths (eg: Islam, Christian, and so forth) which I always assumed. Then I think back. Why the monotheistic faiths aren’t collide on each other like what we’ve been planting on (what we see today is hatred on different religion)? Back to basic, monotheistic faiths were initially from a belief that the truth is, there has only one God and one message behind all the true religions. A true believer should believe in the messages by Moses (Nabi Musa), Jesus (Nabi Isa) and Nabi Muhammad are the same message, that is there’s only ONE religion. But why there are so many differences between these religions? And the worst part is, why there’s no unity between the sects of same monotheistic faiths? Because the original Holy Torah (Kitab Taurat) is replaced by The Talmud which was written by men (false messenger) in Babylon. And The Talmud has some missions. A part from it is to dig beneath the Holy Aqsa (Masjid Al-Aqsa) to retrieve the buried treasure. And what is the buried treasure? Ia adalah buku-buku amalan sihir yang diajar oleh syaitan kepada manusia sewaktu zaman pemerintahan Nabi Sulaiman. This digging was already achieved centuries ago. And the ones who did it are the ones we now know as THE FREEMASONS, dan ilmu sihir ini ialah asas iluminati yang memuja syaitan dan percaya bahawa dajjal ialah nabi penyelamat akhir zaman. Tetapi, ilmu sihir ini tidak lagi ditulis. Where can we find them? Symbols (eg: one eye on US dollar), rituals and architecture (eg: pyramid with 13 levels). Wasn’t this what Satan had asked from Allah? Untuk menyesatkan manusia?

Like I said earlier, some of the truths left me with the big "how" and "why". Too many information at one time almost made my eyes twisted and yeah, I had headache. Maybe I think too much. And because of that, I called my buddy. I talked to them. One of them, Salma, who had already watched the series gave me advises. She reminded me not to “consume” everything I’ve seen. Some need to be filtered. And she also suggested it’d be better if I read reviews made by ustaz concerning the series.

I haven’t finished watching the episodes yet. I need some breaks so I won’t rupture my own brain blood veins. =.=

Have u ever heard of the Wake-Up Project? It’s a series about The Divine Book, Kitab Tuhan. And that is non-other than The Holy Quran. I’ve done watching the first episode, another nine to go. I hope this one is easier to understand. :)

Have work. Take care people! :D

SO. 230611. 0935. MVKJB, JB.

It felt so good. :)

2011-06-12T08:44:00.000-07:00

“Kalau kita sukakan seseorang, jangan beritahu si dia. Nanti Allah kurangkan rasa cinta kita padanya. Sebaliknya, luahkanlah pada Allah, beritahulah Allah. Allah maha tahu siapa jodoh kita.”

When I read this, I was smiling and smiling all over my face. Hahaha Idk. I quoted this from The Other Khairul's blog and I found it so very meaningful. The surface of this phrase is ordinary but the way it conveys the importance of acknowledging the lordship of Allah The Almighty is just...incredible.

Yeah. Lately, I've been thinking about jodoh and life in the future - what I'm gonna indulge in - I might end up doing things I love or hate, whom I'd be married to, etc. Thats the reason why I felt so relieved when I found the quote above. Omg. I just couldnt stop smiling! :D

SO. 120611. 2357. BBU, JB.

Temptations

2011-06-10T10:32:00.000-07:00

One of my weaknesses, I couldnt hold temptations or what I feel like doing.

#1 If I feel like cutting my hair, I'd go straight away to the hairdresser, even if there's an exam on the next day. I did this when I was in my 4th term.

#2 I only had about 2 hours break, and I went to a shopping mall which its one-way was around 40 mins journey. I bought things I wanted and headed back to campus. Yes, I rushed. I should have waited for the weekend shouldnt I?

#3 I'm tired and in need of good sleep. But all I can think of while lying on the bed is surfing the internet over few things. Yes, I'd get up and do it though I'm bloody tired. If my mind is actively thinking of something, I couldnt get these eyes closed. Just like now.

Fund for spending: Ik.

I'm torn between a blackberry and walks in Singapore. I browsed through websites and I'm hell interested in blackberry bold. But the price range is beyond my limit (the ones with prepaid). Even if its within (the ones with postpaid), the package includes a contract for 2 years with a monthly payment for at least 100 bucks, without exceeding on any of internet, calls and other limits. Lately, I've been thinking of converting my cell line to Celcom if I succeeded in buying this smartphone. I asked my friend if she's happy to be one of bb users. She doesnt seem excited becoming one, she said it is just ordinary. Ok now, I'm at my wits ends.

There comes Singapore. JB is kinda next-door to this republic and unfortunately, I havent got to go loitering around it yet! I only stepped into its airport, as a transit to Sydney on 2009. My clicks are planning on having a short-three-day-vacation in this Lion City on this July. But I can only make it on weekend as I'm completing my internship now. So yeah, I just dont know how since its complicated to meet up everybody's schedule. And since the currency now is 1 SGD = 2.44247 MYR, I'd only get about 205 dollars for 500 malaysian bucks. Its not even half! whatthefish! The rate is high isnt it? We should have planned for Indonesia instead. *sigh*

But Singapore is now having their sales until 24th of July. >.<

You know what? I'm thinking of going there tomorrow! But most of my clicks arent here. I've never been there, and I'm unable to make it alone. :(

SO. 110611. 0217. BBU JB.

Life

2011-06-07T07:52:00.000-07:00

I've always wished, always, that I could change or re-do those unwanted life scenes, just like how it shows on movies and dramas. You may be planning to cross the ocean, but tsunami strikes without the warning. So, plan for the best and expect for the worst. Thats life. We're slaves, we know nothing. Thats the reason why we can only sketch the drawings as we're given the pencils, brushes and paints, (yes, all of our senses) but the uniqueness behind them are determined by the only one who knows the best, Allah the Almighty.

Frankly speaking, I'm very much disappointed right now. But I guess, one's comfort zone doesnt last forever, does it?

Knowing that my instinct on April 3rd wasnt right is painful. To acknowledge something I've never imagined before is indeed unbearable.

It isnt an easy task to convince myself that there's blessing in disguise. But I have to try it whole-heartedly. Allah kan akan makbulkan permintaan kita, though sometimes we didnt get what we prayed for. Yes, He gives what we NEED instead of what we WANT. He knows best afterall. Trust Him, u'll get to see the rainbow after the rain. :D

SO. 070611. 2340. BBU, JB.

IMY

2011-05-28T09:41:00.000-07:00

'Nuff said.

Oh btw, buena suerte Manchester United. No matter if u win or lose, I'm gonna support u all the way. May you perform at your best. *love*

SO. 0044. 290511. BBU JB.

Sabarlah.

2011-05-23T17:49:00.000-07:00

I know its only Tuesday but apparently the beginning of this week hasnt been good to me. Yesterday's incident was mild. Today's was hard, severely difficult. I've never ever thought this would happen to those I love. My feelings are all mixed-up - anger, disappointed, sad, torn. I couldnt describe them in words. Everything's now changed entirely.

"Allah sedang menguji." Semoga kami semua tabah dan sabar menghadapinya. Ameen.

SO. 240511. 0859. BBU.

19th!

2011-05-14T08:01:00.000-07:00

Its our 19th! The sweetest league title ever!

Congratulations to my all-time fav Manchester United for their 19th title! Well deserved, Ferguson's team just keep getting results. Well done Sir. We're on top of the perch! *love love*

Shafuraa Onn is all smiles. Thanks MU for making me ecstatic. :D

SO. 2307. 140511. BBU, JB.

9th day of May

2011-05-09T03:06:00.000-07:00

It is harder than it seems or sounds. The only thing I’m hoping is that, I can finally be neutral. Like a friend’s status “If you love a person but you don’t wanna jeopardize your friendship with him/her, just…let the feelings go.”

A good buddy of mine said “ Kalau kau mati dengan menyimpan perasaan menyukai seseorang, kau dikira mati syahid tau. Hikhik.” Then I replied “Kalau aku beritahu orang lain tapi dia still tidak tahu, nanti boleh mati syahid jugak eh?” She answered “ Hmm. Tak kot. Memang tak boleh beritahu sesiapa. Sebab tu aku tak beritahu kau siapa aku suka. Hahaha ;p”

So yeah, that’s pretty clear. I wont be telling anyone after this. But somehow, am I capable of doing that? I enquire myself. Haha ;)

Now, three close friends already knew my secret. Makin ramai. Oh man, its extremely difficult for me to keep mum about my ongoing issues. I couldnt help from sharing my things with other people, especially the ones I always talk to. I can simply let the cat go out of the bag!

As time passes by, more and more people are talking about marriage. Yes, I’m 22, and yeah, I’m undoubtedly young! And why the hell do the people keep asking me when to tie a knot? Sometimes, outsiders (not necessarily neighbours next door, I mean, the big family-uncles, aunts, cousin, all blood ties) are the ones pressuring my parents & myself. Not exactly giving pressure, but you know, the questions related to special friend, bla bla bla. The worst case is that, because of my age which they believe to be the right time knowing ‘someone’, they’d be surprise when I say ‘kawan adalah.’ They’d be like “ Lahhh. Xkan xde yang special kot?” Most of the time, deep inside, I just wanna yell “ betullah xde!” Then thinking that they’re oldies, I somehow ought to be respectful to them. So I’d just present them a bitter smile.

Loser lah. Never had an ex, currently dating no one. Crush? Many. Tapi crush je lah. Until present, I’d never do a confession. I think I couldn’t bear getting rejected. Or worst, losing a friend. So after some time, the feeling just fades away. The hardest was having someone as the apple of my eyes for three years, without meeting each other. I stalked his page every day, oh no, not every day, it was every time I logged in my facebook. Pretty crazy yeah? HAHA ;p

No, I’m lunatic no more. It’s the end of liking him. Move to next please! :D

There’s a kid I’m attached to. Not really actually, its just a confusion. Coz I couldn’t be firm of what I feel; if I really like him. And I don’t stalk his page every day; I seldom look up at his updates (I believe its quite surprising when I don’t really miss him). But while writing this; I’m listening to a song, which reminds me of him.

Huh. I feel tired. New face please! I miss having the good old times, macam crush dalam bas pergi sekolah dulu, or budak tuition ke. Comel oh. So therefore, please, ada budak utm yang comel masuk praktikal this coming 16th. Coz now I’m all alone doing nothing! Bored while wishing ‘cepatlah pukul 1, nak makan’ and I usually ended up napping in the lab!

Till then amigos, toodles!

Shafuraa Onn. 090511. 1830. BBU, JB.

Random

2011-04-24T11:03:00.000-07:00

I'm freaking hungry, like damn hungry. Tau tadi makan nasi goreng, makan kue teow sup je tak dapat hold tummy fullness for a long time. =.=

I'm gaining weight and pimples. Fine.

I'm re-thinking of doing Master. Idk. Or shud I just apply for the cops? Maybe.

I've decided to bin my diary. Its been a while since I last updated it, so baik buang je. Lagipun baru 3 pages. Nak tulis pun dah tak ingat nak tulis ape.

Arsenal was defeated. I'm a hardcore fan of MU, but if the trophy doesnt go to OT, I'd rather let The Gunners having it. Sorry The Blues, you arent my cup of tea, so please, dont get your hopes high, we wont let you get the title for two consecutive years.

My final paper will be on this Tues. Banyaklah nak kena study coz the exam includes all notes, starting from the very beginning. How the hell would I remember? Bawak toyol kang. Alah. Kalau kantoi tak boleh grad. :(

Its been a week since he met The Lord. Ya Allah, please, bless him. IMYVM, HIM.

Shafuraa Onn. 250411. 0232. UKM Bangi.

180411

2011-04-18T21:15:00.000-07:00

180411. I hope, I pray, that it was just a dream, a sad dream. Apparently, the truth, the reality, the happening is just painfully true.

My previous post said " perlu menenangkan fikiran." And I said this to someone on Sunday "cepatlah hari selasa, aku nak lari."

That might be an early sign. Nampaknya betul. Memang wa kena pergi dari sini, dan pulang ke rumah.

Ya Allah, redhakanlah aku dengan pemergian salah satu orang yang sangat aku sayang. Tanpa dia, mungkin aku tak berada pada tahap yang sekarang ini. Kau cucurikanlah rahmat ke atas Haji Ibrahim bin Mohamed, permudahkanlah perjalannya di sana, dan Kau tempatkanlah dia di kalangan orang yang beriman. Amin.

Tok Yem, you will always be in my heart & soul.

p/s: Maaf rakan-rakan. Aku sedang melalui fasa yang sangat sukar dalam hidup. Aku harap kamu semua faham. And thanks for ur unconditional supports. Thank u very much.

Shafuraa Onn.

Live-less

2011-04-16T01:49:00.000-07:00

Sumpah wa tak boleh nak concentrate. Melayang weyh fikiran, memang tak fokus habis. In other words, live-less gila. Damn lah, wa ade exam on Tues and Monday kena pass-up tesis yang dah ber-edit.

For the last three weeks memang dah ada rasa cmni dalam diri wa. Entah. Maybe bila busy dan xde masa buat diri sendiri buat wa rasa serabut gila. Physically memanglah macam biasa (except for mata wa yang dah rupa bola golf bila nanges banyak sangat), tp deep inside, mesti sendiri je yang benar2 tahu apa dirasai. Boleh je share ngan orang lain, tp depa pun maybe ada problem lain juga. Lagipun sekarang exam week. So, what else to expect?

Almost 22 years of living, wa x pernah rasa cmni. UPSR, PMR, SPM, Matrix final exam tu semua wa xde lah score sgt and x pernah pun jadi top scorer. Sedih sikit-sikit tu memang inevitable kan. Tapi senang nak recover. But this time around, disappointment wa semakin menjadi-jadi. Macam dah jatuh, before dapat diri betul2, dah jatuh lagi dan lagi. Penatlah.

I'm not talking about grades here, I'm talking about self-disappointment. Bila lu dah buat sesuatu tu separuh gila/mati, tp tak menjadi seperti yang diharapkan ataupun lu melakukan kesilapan yang sebenarnya boleh dielakkan, lu jadi down. Hah. Itu yang wa rasa. Lepas hampir setahun melakukan kerja yang boleh buat kepala crash, muka penuh jerawat, mata lebam panda serta bergaris halus, badan dehydrated dan rambut gugur, eh satu lagi, kena gigit dengan pacat, this is what I got? Tambah pulak wa rasa wa dah mengecewakan orang lain, the feeling is just extremely awful.

Bila dah banyak yang wa nampak tu semuanya negatif je, confirmlah setan dok tepi hasut-hasut lagi. So sekarang wa tak tahu apa yang irresistable; setan atau pemikiran sendiri. Tapi dua-dua pun dah menghantui diri, siap dah rushes thru segala vein dan masuk dalam darah.

Wa rasa kosong. Hah. Kosong is the perfect word. Bila fikir-fikir balik, ada soalan cmni terjah "Yang kaw dok meroyan cm orang mati laki tu dah kenapa? Hidup, biasalah. Ada ups and downs. Kalau senang bukan life namanya. Hidup kaya macam Mark Zukerberg pun belum tentu happy. Lagipun, we cant see rainbows without a little rain, ye dak?"

Macam nilah. Wa rasa ada dua 'sides' dalam diri sekarang ni. Satu, menghentam. Contoh monolog diri "kalau lu buat kerja dengan sehabis kritikal mesti segala silly mistakes yang bila kumpul2 menyebabkan banyak markah hilang boleh dielakkan. Takde lah lu menyesal cmni". Lagi satu side ialah yang memujuk. Monolog dalaman "biasalah buat silap. Pastu belajar dari kesilapan. Kita kan manusia biasa bla bla bla..."

Sah-sah la susah nak ikut yang positive tu. =.=

Perlu menenangkan fikiran. Semak ah.

p/s: Mcm nak jogging coz lama dah asyik ternak lipid. Kalaulah jogging tu boleh buat wa hilang ingatan pasal bende yang berlaku nih, dah lama wa jogging selalu. Pfffttt.

Shafuraa Onn. 1720. 160411. PTSL UKM Bangi.

Dear diary

2011-04-11T10:38:00.000-07:00

I was inspired by vampires. Starting from now onwards, I'll keep a DIARY. :)

Shafuraa Onn. 120411. 0141. UKM Bangi.

J.E.A.L.O.U.S.Y

2011-04-10T01:42:00.000-07:00

What a coincidence of her latest post with what I'm feeling right now as these fit my current situation like hell much. Thanks Lord Zara. I love reading your entries. :D

" Cemburu.
Emosi yang biasanya tercetus akibat rasa kurang senang, kurang selamat yang biasanya menjurus ke arah negatif disebabkan takut kehilangan sesuatu - kalau dalam konteks hubungan sesama manusia, ia lebih kepada hubungan manusia dengan manusia. Kebiasaannya juga, cemburu adalah cetusan daripada gabungan beberapa emosi seperti marah, malu dan juga kecewa.

Cemburu.
Ini juga boleh diibaratkan sebagai salah satu elemen dalam perhubungan. Tidak kira dalam hubungan cinta, hubungan kekeluargaan, sesama rakan, saudara atau sesiapa sahaja. Kita tidak dapat menolak bahawa sifat cemburu itu adalah sebahagian daripada sifat dalam manusia itu sendiri.

Cemburu ini ada sedikit persamaannya dengan cinta secara literasinya. Benda yang baik, dalam kuantiti sedikit akan memberikan kesan baik, tetapi jika terlampau banyak, ia akan menyeksakan."

p/s: Need to wake up & grow up.

Shafuraa Onn. 100411. 1650. UKM Bangi.

Kalaulah aku tak membesar... :p

2011-04-05T08:26:00.000-07:00

Dah dah. Takyah nak nanges2 dok bgtau semua orang wa sedara yg jahat sbb x wish lu punya bday. :p

Wa memang dah berniat sejak subuh 11 Januari 1987 yang wa nak jadi orang last yang wish lu punya bday. Wa harap wa berjaya. :p

Nah. Ni sajak ringkas sempena Hari Keputeraan lu yang ke-22. Eh. 22? Wa ingat dah 45. :p

Selamat Hari Jadi – Malay (Baizura Kahar. Alamak. Dia dah kawen. Tu la, sp soh lu lahir lambat, kan x dapat usha. ;p)

Ubetydelig - Danish (Lu suka Agger kan. :p)

Verwaarlozen – Dutch (Lu kan suke Kuyt. :p)

Joyeux anniversaire – French (YNWA lagi, Ngog. :p)

Buon compleanno- Italian (Grosso. Seb bek Juventus. ;p)

생일 축하 – Korean (Yang ni sama cm wa jugak, lu suke Kim Hyun Joong. :p)

Feliz Aniversário – Portuguese (Lu kan macam wa, suka gila kat Ronaldo. :p)

Vernachlässigbar – German (Lahm. Seb bek Bayern Munich. Kalau YNWA lagi tak tahulah. ;p)

سالگرہ مبارک ہو - Urdu (Bahasa kebangsaan lu. ;p)

Feliz Cumpleaños – Spanish (Reina, YNWA. Again?? ;p)

незначительный – Russian (Yelena Isinbayeva. Peh. Akhirnya lu tak dapat kawal diri drpd minat sorang awek. ;p)

สุขสันต์วันเกิด – Thai (Tempat lahir lu. ;p)

Happy 22nd Birthday, Muhammad Hafizuddin Abdul Rahman.
عيد ميلاد سعيد برك الله فيك

Thanks for being born. Thanks for everything. May happiness guide you all the way. Amin.

p/s: Wa igt nak buat 54 bahasa, cm no. kat jersi lu. Tapi wa x abes nuntut lagi. ;)

Shafuraa Onn. 050411. 2350. UKM Bangi.

Bunga putih

2011-04-03T09:27:00.000-07:00

Masa dinner tadi ada bunga hidup. Pastu kitorang dok main-main lah dengan bunga tu. Tp tu dorg je, wa tak main pun bunga tu, wa jahanamkan dia. Hahaha ;P

Cara wa rosakkan dia? Senang je. >.<

Wa dapat ilham. Pernah tak korang cabut satu-satu kelopak bunga tu and ckp "nak ke tak" or bende2 yang lain? Macam nak tak nak tak....sambil patahkan kelopak bunga. Then the final say yang last kelopak punya lah.

Wa buat macam tu tadi. Tp wa tak cakap nak tak nak tak. Wa cakap nama dua orang, alternately. Ada tiga tangkai semua skali. So berkecahlah tempat wa dengan kelopak bunga warna putih.

Guess what? Ketiga-tiga tangkai bunga tu bagi the same name masa kelopak yang terakhir. What a coincidence kan. :D

Shafuraa Onn. 040311. 0028. UKM, Bangi.

Seliparku putus

2011-03-28T09:52:00.000-07:00

It was a lovely Tuesday when I wore a baju kurung with my favourite slipper. I was heading to Pusanika, along with Zeti and Tira to get some business done. While walking, I stepped onto a hard cement, and…my slipper, rooted out. Again?? Pfffttt. I just got it attached the weekend before, yes, it has broken twice. And this time around, it couldn’t be fixed any longer.

Yes, I’m a bit aggrieved. Coz I bought it in Aussie, as a token of that place. I still keep the receipt, it was in George Street on 30th of Nov 2009, meaning that I’ve used it for only one and a quarter years.

Now I have nothing I bought there. The red bag is on its way of degrading itself, oh gosh, I bought it in S’pore. Yes, its bitterly true that I have nothing else I purchased in Sydney. Takde kenangan dah. Isk. :’(

---> Other reason for loving this slipper? It reminds me of the salesman. He's a green-eyed grown-up man. ;)

Shafuraa Onn. 0103. 290311. UKM Bangi.

:D

2011-03-23T11:42:00.000-07:00

I've been watching Finale of Raja Lawak Season 5 (youtube) again and again. I dont have any favourites on that show, but I just love the chemistry between the MCs, Zizan and Johan. I just cant stop laughing, they're just ridiculously hilarious. ;)

Its 24th of March, the day Eqa was born 20 years ago. Happy Birthday kid. May Allah bless you with happiness, longevity and prosperity. Since u're in Aries horoscope, I found these for you. My future bro-in-law might be having one of these four zodiac since I only selected those with the most compatibility with an Arian. ;P

ARIES AND GEMINI

"They won’t bore each other because both love to talk. And they share a special compatibility, for Gemini is as restless and anxious to try new things as Aries is. There are no inhibitions on either side. Aries is initially attracted by this good looking, and socially amusing person but the Arian desire to dominate the person and the situation will quickly bring out the rebellious tendencies of Gemini that are always lurking just beneath the surface. Both minds mesh well; Aries is dynamic and intelligent, Gemini is versatile and ingenious. Aries is likely to be the leader sexually, and Gemini delights in thinking up variations to keep Aries’s interest at a peak. The signals are definitely go. As a partnership this duo could work out very well as the air sign is of the mental group, mechanically inclined, marketing, etc. combine this with the ability of Aries to interact with the public then you will have a good partnership in the making; throw in one of the earth signs to keep the finances well in order and you will be ’in business’."

ARIES AND VIRGO

"Aries’s boldness should intrigue shy, reserved Virgo for a time. Aires’s passions are impulsive and direct. Virgo’s sexuality is more enigmatic and takes time to be revealed. In other areas Aries is full of exciting new plans and ideas, and insists on being boss. Virgo is critical and fussy, and likes things to be done the way Virgo wants. Virgo disapproves of Aires’s extravagance; Bossy Aries will not take kindly to the criticisms of Virgo, even if they are well meant, as they will undermine the Arian sense of discovery and throw the Arian into a depression. They end up making war, not love. On the other hand if Aries and Virgo can develop mutual hobbies and habits they will have a common ground for basing a relationship on but without this type of sharing then their life together would become unbearable for each of them. A partnership between Aries and Virgo could work out very well with Virgos logical mind constantly calculating the best moves and the Arian willingness to work hard, as long as Aries is given free rein in the scope of his/her agreed upon responsibilities."

ARIES AND SAGITTARIUS

"Sagittarius is a perfect temperamental match for Aries. They are both active, spontaneous people who like socializing, have extravagant tastes in common, and enjoy the good life. For this reason there will probably be an instant attraction on the part of these two that could last a very long time, although Aries may doubt the Sagittarians ability to make a success of a long term commitment and in turn, Sagittarius could believe that Aries is ideal as long as Aries accepts the Sagittarians idea of freedom. Arguments can reach the boiling point. However, they have wonderful senses of humor and enjoy each other’s company. Being too much alike in moods and temperament will prevent these two from becoming good one on one business partners, but working on a team with other players in their key niches, you will find them as very good friends.

ARIES AND PISCES

"Fire and water do not normally mix and that is why the Aries with Pisces love match could be a complex relationship. Aries will draw Pisces out of that shell, and in turn will be hypnotized by Pisces’ seductive and mysterious sexuality. Pisces will need the Arians strength and ability to comfort when Pisces is tired or disillusioned and just when Aries gets used to being depended on, Pisces will pull an about face and suddenly become independent and free spirited (but only for short periods!). The boldness and confidence of Aries plus Pisces’ intuitions and fantasies add up to an eventful union. Personality differences complement each other. Aries is self-assured and vivacious; Pisces is somewhat shy and easily led. Aries likes to be dominant, Pisces likes having someone to lean on. For a happy coupling this requires only a little more tact on Aries’s part. You could safely say that this is a match made in Heaven! This could make a good business partnership as the piscean, being the emotional water sign in the design group, could get along well with the fire sign in the inspirational (idea) group. Pisces will generally not mind if the Arian wants to be the boss."

This tips might help (really? haha). If one of the above statement is true, it is just a coincidence. Jodoh pertemuan kan di tangan Tuhan, kita berusaha & berdoa sajalah. ;)

Shafuraa Onn. 240311. 0325. UKM Bangi.

Big T

2011-03-21T12:27:00.000-07:00

Trust. A tiny word and yet, gives rise to numbers of definitions, perspectives and also personal views. For myself, I believe that trust is a guerdon, it is something to earn. To be reliant 100% towards other people is just not-so-me. And its not because they cant be trusted, its just something hard for me to completely reward one to someone. There must be some doubts left secluded in either my head, heart, or both.

The entire situation is sort of complicated to explain. Idk. I’m doubtful and clueless. Maybe I don’t really know you. And maybe, I don’t understand you enough. Yes, maybe.

Or you might have this as your sentiment - secrets are something everyone holds. If this's the case, I got it. I’d never cross the line, I'd always respect ur stand.

p/s: Currently addicted to Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri. Oh noooo. This song's got nothing to do with all three paragraphs above. :)

Shafuraa Onn. 220311. 0352. UKM, Bangi.

BF

2011-03-15T02:31:00.000-07:00

"Kawan sejati akan menjaga kita seperti seorang ibu, marah kita seperti seorang bapa, kacau kita seperti seorang kakak, buat kita meluat seperti seorang abang dan akan menyayangi kita lebih dari seorang kekasih."

By Lord Zara.

Shafuraa Onn. 150311. 1732. UKM Bangi.

Yes, its true.

2011-03-12T22:13:00.000-08:00

"Jangan kau kira cinta itu datang dari keakraban yang lama dan pendekatan yang tekun. Cinta adalah anak kecocokan jiwa, dan jika itu tak pernah ada,cinta tak pernah tercipta dalam hitungan tahun bahkan abad."

Jadi, kalau kau kata kau kenal lama pun, itu tak bermakna dia adalah jodoh kau.

*quoted from Lord Zara*

Shafuraa Onn. 130311. 1416. UKM Bangi.

KWA

2011-03-10T08:49:00.000-08:00

Current crush goes to.....

KHAIRUL WASIRIL ASWAD.

Auwww auwwww. ;)

Shafuraa Onn. 110311. 0053. UKM Bangi.

:'(

2011-03-06T07:54:00.001-08:00

Orang cakap wa susah senyum, dengan erti kata lain, sombong. How far is it true, I'm not sure. But as hard as for me to smile, strangely enough, its fucking easy for me to laugh! Idk, finding something hilarious is so effortless. ;)

Laughing is easy, but crying is even easier. Reason to lose some tears? Many. The most childish one would be MU. Yes Manchester United. It was two years ago when I called a friend and cried due to MU's defeat. I couldnt recall to whom, most probably Chelsea. "Gila ke ape dia ni. Pasal bola pun nak nangis. Pe kejadahnya." Tak, wa tak nangis everytime MU kalah, mana macho seyh cenggitu. Wa akan frust gila tertonggeng kalau wa ternanti-nanti match tu sampai x boleh tido malam sebab dah lama x tengok MU lawan (biasa ah wa busy, haha) pastu bila tengok, MU pun bermain macam budak sekolah. Pastu sah-sah la kalah. Pastu wa pun akan down gila ah. Betul ni, down the road gila. Dengan erti kata lain, kecewa nak mati.

The same thing goes to Ronaldo, not Real Madrid. I'm not that into Spanish League, but CR is so irresistable. So bila ada match, wa akan nervous gila tengok Ronaldo perform. Kalau dia main well, wa happy sampai ke bulan. Kalau dia men jatuh golek-golek ala hindustan je selama 90 minit tu, haaa, wa akan sedih gila jugak. Last time wa sedih masa RM kalah 5-0 dgn Barca. Masa tu memang dah bergenang air mata wa nih. Tapi tengok kat mamak, malu ah kalau wa melalak kat situ. Recent news wa baca kat papar, Ronaldo hatrik and Real menang 7-0 ke atas sape tah. Tengok, bila wa tak tengok menang pulak, Siap dia gol banyak lagi. Tapaham seyh.

So kesimpulannya, wa down gila ni. MU kalah 3-1 tadi kat Anfield (tapi wa x nangis ah, betul x tipu. sebab wa tgk kat cafe, ramai orang T.T). The same week, last Tuesday, MU kalah kat Stamford Bridge 2-1. What a tragic week for us, kan MU kan. :'(

p/s: Wa kena berkabung ni. Kena lah pakai tudung putih seminggu. Ala, wa tak suka pakai tudung putih, x masuk ah.

---> Ni pic wa masa kecik dulu. Comel kan? Tahu dah. :p (sejak bila pulak rambut wa kaler perang, berangan lebih.)

Shafuraa Onn. 070311. 0044. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

Suka Khairul

2011-02-24T07:58:00.000-08:00

A YEAR WITHOUT YOU IS LIKE A YEAR WITHOUT RAIN - SG.

p/s:-

1) Oh The Other Khairul. I'm totally in love with ur writing. Jom bercinta nak? ;)
2) Its 25th! Happy bday Abah! May Allah bless u. *hugs*

Shafuraa Onn. 0006. 250211. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

Obstacle

2011-02-15T06:47:00.000-08:00

Ya Allah, untuk aku yang mempunyai iman senipis kulit bawang, ujianMu kali ini benar-benar mengujiku. Aku lemah dan langsung tidak berdaya. Ya Allah, tabahkanlah dan redhakanlah hatiku. Ya Allah, temuikanlah aku dengan jalan penyelesaian kepada masalahku ini. Sesungguhnya Kau Maha Mengetahui apa yang berlaku dan apa yang aku rasakan. Dan Kau sebaik-baik tempat mengadu.

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.

Shafuraa Onn. 150211. 2253. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

Busy Bee

2011-02-08T06:38:00.000-08:00

February might be a fabulous month for some people, but it is certainly a vice versa chronology of days for me. This is why :-

9th : Ichthyology Midsem Exam

10th: Animal Behaviour Midsem Exam

11th: Genetic Trip to Mardi Serdang

17th: Animal Behaviour Fieldwork

18th: Conservation of Genetic Resources Midsem Exam

19th: Genetic Trip to Kuala Gandah

21st: Analysis Stat Midsem Exam

24th: Animal Behaviour Fieldwork

25th: Ichthyology Fieldwork

And I have only March to do my thesis coz I ought to hand it over on April Fool. :(

I should be burning some midnight's oil later. Wish me luck people! :D

Shafuraa Onn. 080211. 2252. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

Wondering why

2011-02-04T06:47:00.000-08:00

Why oh why.

Case 1:
Lets say someone used to like you. But you dont like him/her and you just wanna befriend with that person. Then time flies by. Suddenly you came to know he/she is attached. Nak tak nak, terasa lah jugak. Why? Kita tak suka pun orang tu mula-mula. Then why jealous? If not, sad? Or maybe feeling uneasy?

I asked my sister. She said it is due to divided and limited attention. Initially, we were the apple of one's eyes and in a blink of time, that situation changes when that person has somebody else. Thats the reason why we feel waived. And maybe, thats about it.

Case 2:
You used to have a crush on someone. Then, the feeling is sort of fades away when you dont really see him/her any longer. But when you know someone else is getting closer to that person, you're feeling mad. Or unsatisfied. And once again, why this happens?

Question mark rises up on my head.

Shafuraa Onn. 040211. 2307. Bandar Baru UDA, Johor Bahru.

Cuti buat ape? tesis okeyh. :p

2011-02-03T09:22:00.000-08:00

No. This isnt about my thesis. Title lies. :p Oh. I'm writing my drugs out. Here's how:

1. Taylor Swift's Back To December.
"So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December turn around and make it all right
I go back to December all the time.

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smiles.
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I’d love you right
I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t
So if the chain is in your door I understand."

2. Bruno Mars's Talking To The Moon.
"I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
I want you back
I want you back
My neighbours think
I'm crazy
But they don't understand
You're all I have.

Talking to the Moon
Try to get to you
In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
Who sits alone
Talking to the moon."

3. Enrique Iglesias's Why Not Me
"Escaping nights without you with shadows on the wall
My mind is running wild tryin hard not to fall
You told me that you love me but say I’m just a friend
My heart is broken up into pieces

Cos I know I’ll never free my soul
It’s trapped between true love and being alone
When my eyes are closed the greatest story told
I woke and my dreams are shattered here on the floor

Why oh why tell me why not me
Why oh why we were meant to be
Baby I know I could be all you need
Why oh why oh why

I wanna love you
If you only knew how much I love you
So why not me..."

Oh nooo. These songs above have nothing to do with my personal life. I just love the lyrics and the song beats. And for Taylor Swift, I'm not that into her. But I do think she's capable of putting her entire feelings into words exactly. And thats mesmerizing enough. Man, she's still young! :D

Shafuraa Onn. 040211. 0138. Bandar Baru UDA, Johor Bahru.

Not only human (naturally), school is also single-sex. HAHA :p

2011-01-26T08:01:00.000-08:00

Single sex school is part of my early life and also one of the reasons I’m able to be in university right now. Not saying that it’s a guarantee for future success though, but, without education there, I don’t think I’d be growing up as a useful human.

SIGS – Sultan Ibrahim Girls School, Johor Bahru. The place I’ve so many memories about. Teachers, friends, seniors & juniors, sports day, assembly in a very hot hall, and on top of all, the prefectorial board I was in for four consecutive years.

Miss Bulwinder Kaur, the most unforgettable teacher I’ve ever had. She’s just hilarious and incredible! When she first entered my class, we students couldn’t understand her words coz she spoke so damn fast! And its surprising that she was able to maintain the perfect Malay language (she isn’t a Malay), and yes, she was my Form 5 teacher for that subject. I’ve never enjoyed learning BM in my life, but she has successfully changed that. An-hour-lesson seemed like only 10 minutes. And the best part was, we weren’t just studying it. But we could also see the beauty of our mother-tongue in an enjoyable way.

Seniors & juniors – Hoho. Some might have negative thoughts of all-girls and all-boys schools. I remembered a time when there was a proposal to government saying that single-sex-school should be banned as cases of wrong sexual orientation increased, which means people blamed this type of education centre for the introduction of gays and lesbians in the society. I’m not going to deny it, coz some of the justifications are right. But one thing I’m very sure about, the pros of having my kind of school are far greater than the cons. And sometimes, students get confused about their own identity and preference and I believe this as a part of growing up to know what you really are. What I’m seeing right now is, more and more of boyish girls in my school are returning straight. Rough appearance remains outside, and their inner self are still completely women basic instinct.

It has been sort of a ‘culture’ to the students of my school to write small cute notes to our seniors & juniors. I mean, we play favoritisms. Cute, popular ones would always be the apple of some eyes. They’d be given birthday presents, dedications, wishes, notes and much more. I don’t think this is harmful, and I see this as sisterhood. We left school, but our friendship remains alive. :D

Sports day is being held annually, usually at the beginning of a year. All kinds of practices are being done – marching, bands, cheering, decorations and what not. I was involved in the marching of prefect squad for three years if I’m not mistaken. All marching squads would follow the beats played by the bands. My school’s band is quite well-known in my district. Then cheerleaders. Their voices are hell loud! Coz in order to win, judges must hear the cheers. So just imagine how big a stadium is, and cheering girls of each house (blue, red, yellow, green) would be on the opposite from the grand stand where the judges would be in. And they could not stop yelling, shouting and cheering until the end of everything. Now you know why students of all-girls schools have men’s voices. ;)

I was the Vice Secretary of Prefectorial Board when I was in Form 3 and Vice President later when I was in Form 5. Though conducting assembly wasn’t something new for me back then, I’d still get stage fright in front of everybody, especially if it’s Monday. The principal would be there, sometimes the scripts were altered last minute, and if worst ever, the school song’s cd failed to play and we prefects couldn’t find a pianist. So before the assembly starts, we’d always check everything out. But sometimes, things did happen outside of our control, especially when it comes to electronic devices. And I was a Science-stream student, so how the hell did I ever know about wires and plugs?? HAHA. ;p

I’m thankful for everything I had, and I believe I’d not be where I am today without facing those experiences before. And on top of all, I’m extremely grateful that I was raised up in a single-sex school. Coz I’d never ever had to pretend, it makes me, ME. :D

Shafuraa Onn. 270111. 0013. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

Pills

2011-01-26T07:32:00.000-08:00

Its Wednesday, which means I’ve been taking Paracetamol for straight three days, Uphamol were taken on Monday & Tuesday, and I just took Soluble just now. I’m well aware that this isn’t good, but my head seems to be spinning few times. The pain didn’t last all day long, but it made me feel dizzy. Sometimes, one side of my head felt heavier than the other one. And some other time, the pain just rushed through all over my head.

I’ve never been diagnosed to be having migraine before, so I’m not sure if this is the starting point. But I hope it isn’t. I’ll be heading to Rompin this Friday with the lab crews, and I don’t wanna be a burden to anyone. Therefore, I’m praying to be healthy at least until the day I go back home, maybe on next Tuesday. The sampling would always be tiresome for everyone as many things to get done, and I’d be miserable if they have to take care of me if I got sick. So yeah, pills would go on the top list in things-to-bring for the trip this time around!

I just finished watching Personal Taste, a Korean drama series. It wasn’t too entertaining, but one thing I can be certain of, is that Korean story line, actor, and actress have never failed to amuse me how sweet they are. They are very passionate to each other; towards partners, parents, siblings or non-blood-ties humans. Though the story line might be something people created, I feel it is the culture of Koreans to portray affectionateness. And I do think this is a good example everyone should learn about. Love others and wars would no longer exist, just like the message in ’21 Guns’ by the Greenday.

Thats probably all for now. Need to finish up something else. Tc friends & haters. :D

Shafuraa Onn. 260111. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

I'm a human lah, not vampires!

2011-01-17T11:01:00.001-08:00

Truthfully ever speaking, there are some people I'm hating right now, but I dont hate just that, I've got my own reasons. And yes, I can be so damn devilish to spit mouthful of bad words to them, but I just cant, at least not eye-to-eye. No, its not because I pity them, its too much to ask from me, but I'm a normal human being. They hurt you, u felt extremely bad and u're hoping the same goes to them, just like the phrase 'what u give, u got back.'

I dont really care if someone or two or three or more hate me. Coz I'd be hating them a whole heck of a lot more. Yes, this world had enough of wars and it needs peace, but who actually barks at a sleeping dog? I wont be bothered if I didnt get disturbed at the very first place.

No, I wont do any harm or physical abuse towards people I'm planting my hatreds on. Nor I'd be sending viruses so that their laptops get corrupted as well as their thesis files. Its childish and not classy. The most I'd be doing, is watching from far if they're struggling. The Almighty always remember us, does He? Its Carma, u step on others once, they step back on u twice. Or even worse that u dont wanna complete ur life.

Its really pathetic if I see someone brings people down just to make him/her feels better of own-self. I came across few. But I was raised up with humanity value that keeps me from being a bullshit, so like I said, I'll just be watching. And I know this isnt noble, but I cant help myself from enjoying the awfully entertaining rewards they obtain themselves from being thats-why-people-hate-you person. They ought to learn from their mistakes. Life is the ultimate teacher afterall!

Whenever I'm mad, my friends would console me. And I'm thankful for that. They got me back into senses. But to not be having any feelings after some conflicts, it really requires some time off, some breaks. One of my buddies said, 'its ur experience for now, treasure it. You'd be glad someday that u've encountered it before.' I find this is true, but somehow being neutral doesnt flow in my way just yet. Maybe it will, in future who knows.

Oh dont worry. I can accept advices, oh, only from those I trust. And trust is earned. ;)

Shafuraa Onn. 1801111. 0336. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

Pengalaman pertama 150111

2011-01-16T12:24:00.001-08:00

Chewahhh. Tajuk taboleh blaaa. :p

Wa xde la baik sgt nak tunjuk wa smayang ke hape. But I’m posting this out coz its my own experience. I don’t wanna forget this incident, so bila-bila bosan boleh baca balik dan tersenyum sendiri. ;)

Selalunya hari Sabtu ada pasar malam kat area shell dekat ngan ukm. So akibat kebosanan melampau, wa ngan zeti pn pergilah ke sana. Kat sini barang2 murah, tudung 10 bucks je. Kalau kat jb jangan haraplah. Kat angsana tu tudung mahal gila. Memanglah material x sama, tp wa x tgk sangat. Like how far can a piece of cotton really satisfy you? So asalkan wa nampak ok bila pakai pastu colour pun cm best, wa beli je lah. Ok, dah lari tajuk sebenarnya.

Tengah-tengah jalan, hujan lebat gila. Of course la ktorg x bawak payung. So ktorg berteduh kat 1 gerai beg ni. Hujan makin lebat, xde tanda-tanda nak reda. Masa ni dah 7 lebih. Tunggu punya tunggu, dah 7.30. Wa takut maghrib abes, so wa suggest kat zeti redah je hujan sebab wa plan nak solat kat Shell. Sebenarnya wa x igt shell ada surau ke x sbb before ni x pernah terjadi macam ni. So ktorg redah je. Habis lencun tapi apa boleh buat. Sampai kat Shell tudung sme dah senget-benget. Orang dok pandang je, msti dorg dok cakap ‘gila ape mereka nih.’ Hahaha

Pastu ktorg bergegas cari surau. On the way ke surau, terjumpa toilet. Wa igt nak masuk, jap lagi wa ternampak org tengah kencing sbb dia x tutup pintu (toilet laki opposite toilet pompuan). Abes hilang virgin mata wa nih. Hahaha wa x jadi masuk toilet tu. Then jumpa surau. Lega. Jap lagi, ktorg perasan yang signboard dia tulis ‘surau’ je, xde gambar laki ke pompuan. So macam hesitate nak masuk. Ngendap punya ngendap, takde orang. Apa lagi, ktorg cepat-cepat masuk dan kunci so that orang laki x bole masuk sebab kat tepi kiri kanan ada orang laki berdiri tunggu hujan reda.

Bila masuk je, alamak, xde tempat wuduk. Memang kecik je surau tu. Takpelah, wa pun terfikir nak g toilet tadi. Sampai je toilet, pintu toilet pompuan kunci. Adeh. Dugaan lagi. Time ni dah 7.45 kot. Wa pun g kedai serbaneka shell tu dan beli mineral water. Then masuk dalam surau balik. Pastu terfikir, cmne nak amek wuduk nih? Kang basah surau sebab dia mmg simen yg beralas. Yang ade hanya sejadah 2 helai. Takde tempat nak tuang air ke ape. Kang kalau wa amik air smayang kat pintu surau semua org tengok sbb ramai org. Semua pun dok tunggu hujan reda.

Then zeti cakap ‘aku pegang plastic, kaw amek air smayang.’ Kira wa jirus muka tangan semua, air masuk dalam plastic tu. Ok settle. Lepas amik wuduk, baru perasan xde telekung! Dugaan yang ketiga. Sudaaahh, cmne nih. Fikir punya fikir, wa dpt idea. Wa beli cadar baru sbb wa terbakarkan cadar org, hahaha. Wa iron tudung atas katil budak tu, jap lg terbakar. Wa dah janji nak ganti cadar lain, so yeah, wa pun beli la 1 set cadar siap dengan sarung bantal & sarung bantal peluk yg panjang tuh. So wa amek sarung bantal peluk tu dan sarung kat kaki. Gila style belang2 colour2. Hahaha then wa pakai tudung zeti sebab masa tu dia pakai tudung yang main sarung je, tudung ekin la kot nama dia. So labuh la jugak. Luckily masa tu wa pakai long-sleeve, kalau tak wa mesti dah selibung 1 badan dgn cadar baru tu. Hahaha wa yakinkan diri yang wa dalam keadaan bersih, then wa solat Maghrib dan berdoa agar diterima amalan oleh Tuhan Yang Esa. Cewahhhh. ;)

Lepas abes semua, wa dengar ade org soksek-soksek kat luar. So ktorg cepat-cepat siap. Ade org lain nak masuk. Orang lelaki yang dah lama tunggu kat tepi surau kot. Mesti dia pn dah lame dok usha tu surau laki ke pompuan, tp biasalah, ladies first kan, baru gentleman. :D

So, tu jelah wa nak cerita. Sehingga kita berjumpa lagi pada hari & waktu yang sama. Assalamualaikum & selamat beramal! :D

Shafuraa Onn. 170111. 0436. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

RAFFALI ♥

2011-01-09T09:30:00.000-08:00

Like any other girl facing, its the time of the month, so please understand if emotions are running high right now. Not to make it as an excuse, but frankly speaking, it has some effects.

Ok. Curtains fell for AJL25 about 1.5 hours ago. And yes, I'm not satisfied with the results. To me, it was the best show ever in the history of nation music industry, but its moment of truth was heart-breaking. I dont really get why Faizal Tahir (FT) wasnt even in Top 3. Plus, Hafiz winning the best vocals was a bit what? He earned that, u've got to be kidding me right? Then Ana Raffali (AR)? Gosh. Jaw-dropping 35K for that kinda song? Yes, I'm a tune blind but I'm not in deaf ears.

I can nod my head if Black or A.P.I (Lan & Noh) won the best vocals. And Hanyut should be the second-runner up at least. Of course I'd want it to win everything, but if I were to choose one else, it'd be Drama King or Shahir's Kebahagiaan Dalam Perpisahan.

Yep, maybe the trophy was fated for AR. And FT is still my preference other than Datuk Siti Nurhaliza. As for now, only these two mesmerize me with their pieces. I hope losing this will give FT a booster to try harder in future. You know how much fans love & support u all the way. ♥

Its always been some thoughts for my daughter's name (every time I love someone's alphabets, I'd wish to have it on my offspring, hahaha). But now I have an idea for my son's . Its RAFFALI. Though I sorta disapprove AR as the ultimate winner, I do find her father's name attractive. Hahaha :D

So, InsyaAllah, its gonna be Muhammad Raffali bin ....... coming out of love in the future. Auwwww *jiwang gilaaa* :p

To be continued. ;)

Shafuraa Onn. 100111. 0159. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM Bangi.

Like, is this LIFE?

2010-12-28T06:24:00.000-08:00

The truth is, I've never liked football clubs other than MU. And for Real Madrid, I'd be voting for them to win La Liga due to a very possible reason a girl would give; all because of Cristiano Ronaldo. But if u see me hoping a victory of a club for a match which MU doesnt involved in, for instance, I chose Chelsea over Arsenal in yesterday's match between them, its all for MU's sake. Since Arsenal is following right behind MU now, for sure I'd wish them to lose the match. Based on any situation, whoever gives disadvantages to MU is ultimately my, hmmm, should I say enemy? :p

Its only the second week of my final term and yet, I've already missed a class. It wasnt my intention okayhh. Hahaha :D I accidentally woke up late on that day and for this genetic lecturer, better never than late to lectures. She doesnt like late comers. So yeah, sometimes a cross in attendance sheet looks great isnt it? :p

For present, my life is quite enjoyable. Yes, I'm in a comfort zone. Analyzing my days, one thing that is immediately and indubitably apparent - the fairness of The Almighty. He gives ups and downs, smiles and tears. And I'm not excepted from this. Quick and simple analogy, someone can really get on my nerves, and the other person is just as funny as a barrel of monkeys which makes me feel good. I'm seizing every minute I have, coz I believe the same moments would never clone themselves in future. Time flies like green corn through the new maid, so why waste it?

Its common if our plan goes down the Swanee but who would love failures? And who would ever be affirmative if obstacles are the greatest rebellious entertainers in one's journey? Then who would want to be head over heels with somebody if we know the person we're hitting on isnt the right one for us? Or the fact that love never lasts is even worst? But after all, THIS IS LIFE. We love, work, struggle and pray. The rest, let Him do His part. He's the Creator, He knows everything.

Shafuraa Onn. 281210. 2334. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM Bangi.

Oh man, I love grooming! :D

2010-12-13T04:42:00.000-08:00

Close buddies of mine know how much I love grooming. I’m just into stuff that boosts my confidence level. I’m not sure about u guys but damn, seriously, I’m a type of person who can’t resist herself from buying, especially skin care & make up products. I’ve always wanted a porcelain-like skin, but who doesn’t anyway? And if most people like neat, tidy hair, I’m actually a big fan of messed-up, bed hair look, the one like Blake Lively’s is just gosh, awesome! Then also, my third insecurity (sometimes) could be my teeth on lower jaw. Braces? Some imperfections are just adorable arent they? :p

These are my helpers for any activities – loitering in malls, dinners and what not. The ones I’d never go out without putting them on are Maybelline compact powder (after experimenting so much, this suits my skin tone quite well) and concealer of the same brand. My face would look reddish whenever pimples kick out, so a concealer is absolutely a necessity.

Mascara- one beauty getaway I adore the most. I’ve tried Maybelline, Silky girl, MAC, Clinique, Bobbi Brown, and Estee Lauder. Revlon could be next. From all that I’ve listed, Estee Lauder fully satisfies me, followed by Bobbi Brown.

Eyeliners. I’m not into them much, and gosh, liquid ones are totally not accessible for me. But if I were to have one on, I’d prefer brown over black. And the ones I’ve used are always in brown, or in darker shade but not blackish. I look weird in pure black eyeliner. A tip, don’t use black liner on lower eyelids; it makes your eyes look smaller. Use white or silver liner instead, and start lining on the middle until outer eyelid.

Eyeshadow. I don’t really know how to put on the eye shadows (smoky eyes are pain in the ass to be perfectly done), so I use them as eyeliners. Thus, rather than buying an eyeliner, an eye shadow could make you kill two birds with one stone – just line them up on the lids for a quick touch-up, or use them to dazzle your eyes for a prom (I bet we’d become expert after some learnings). Easy isn’t it?

Blusher. Until now, I’d never tell if a shade suits me well or draws me like a Bardot. But to stay safe, light pink could never go wrong I think. Practice makes perfect, so why not stay in front of the mirror and start grooming? ;)

Lipstick. I once read that one of the greatest beauty looks of all time are red lips. But always bear in mind that red lips can’t go with smoky eyes. You have to choose either one to be the centre of attention –the lips or the eyes. And since I’ve not mastered in shadowing the lids, I’d spend more time on the lips.

Skin care products – I now have Neutrogena Fine Fairness Brightening UV Moisture, SK II Miracle Water, Cosmoderm Toner, Bio Oil, Garnier Light Gentle Moisturizer and L’Oreal White Perfect Day & Night Spot Corrector. I don’t use them all every day, coz their effectiveness depends on the skin type. But I love trying, that’s why I have quite plenty of them. But since I don’t possess a celebrity-like skin, I’d never recommend any of the listed to you. I bet you know yourself better. :D

Shafura Onn. 131210. Jam 2110. Bandar Baru UDA, JB.

ITS A BLESSING

2010-12-09T21:40:00.000-08:00

I'm not in Dean's List, a far cry from 4 flatters. But still, thank u Dear Almighty. I feel blessed and grateful. Its the best I've achieved in five semesters so far. And yes, it is absolutely a booster to my next term. Thank god, thank u so much. :D

Mama has discharged too. after all the procedures - lumber puncture, brain scan, city scan, MRI, and 7 kinds of different pills, Alhamdulillah, mama is getting better. But still, she needs rest and therefore is on medical leave until new year. I really hope she is fine by the time I head back to KL. I full-heartedly do.

My final semester will kick out its ass on this coming 20th. So yeah, 2-week-holiday is surely insufficient for me. Not enough break, but what to do. I'm a student after all, am I? ;)

Shafura Onn. Bandar Baru UDA. 101210. Jam 1358.

Puzzle

2010-11-30T09:41:00.000-08:00

When I'm mad, I'd either keep quite or worst, cry.

I knew someone 3 yrs back, in matrix, whom I didnt really like. And the hatred grows thicker when he's destined as my course mate in university. Malaysia is small overall isnt it?

Now, I'm in my final year, and once again, I just couldnt run from meeting such a painful truth when he shares the same supervisor as mine. So yeah, we have to work together, and the time spent with each other are getting longer.

Why did I hate him from the first place? Coz he used to say something I was very furious about. And apparently, the unfinished grudges spread through my veins that each time we meet, we quarrel. It is just cant be helped.

Lately, the atmosphere seems to be like a volcano eruption. We had tongue-tied every 2 mins or less as I'm easily enraged by him. Yes, I'm tired, fed-up and it takes too much efforts to control my anger. Unfortunately, they failed.

I cried. Not because I feel bad towards him, but it is more to self-respect and dignity. I've lost self-pride. Coz it is shameful enough as many have witnessed myself scold him in public, it is an uncontrollable madness, u can see fire through my eyes when I'm talking to him. Yes, of course I feel terrible after our altercation, like I said, my own kindle burns me. But I really dont know why this happens and how to stop it. This is an unsolved puzzle that puzzles me a whole heck of a lot.

Shafuraa Onn. 011210. 0238. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

Tv, Cinema, Newspapers

2010-11-20T08:15:00.000-08:00

Those who've glued me to television, cinemas and newspapers are:

MALE

1. Cristiano Ronaldo (footballer) - I got number 7 in my email due to CR’s official jersey number.
2. Kim Hyun Joong – a Korean actor and the leader of SS501.
3. Faizal Tahir – a Malaysian singer. I’ve started liking him since OIAM.
4. Remy Ishak – a Malaysian actor.
5. Jang Geun Suk – he’s awesome in You’re Beautiful (Korean drama).
6. Adam Lambert – American Idol season 8 finalist
7. Riz Amin – played ‘Fahmi’ in SpaQ 2. I once met him in Sogo. Gosh. He’s well grown-up man.
8. Danny V (Project Runway) – the reason why my email is dannyme.
9. Jackson Rathbone – acted as Jasper in Twilight.
10. Casey James – American Idol contestant.
11. David Silva – a Spanish footballer.
12. Wu Zun – an actor in Taiwan but was born in Brunei. A member of a group called Fahrenheit.
13. Henry Golding – a television personality. And a model too.
14. Syed Hussein (Sein) of Ruffedge.
15. Syed Aiman – a Malaysian actor.
16. Enrique Iglesias – a Latin singer. I had eyes on him when I watched “Do You Know” music video.
17. Nicky Hayden – MotoGP racer
18. Arjun Rampal – who says I don’t watch Hindustan? Hahaha ;p
19. Muhammad Shaffik Rahman – footballer of Negeri Sembilan.
20. Rizal – played ‘Yusuf’ in Dunia Baru series.
21. Shahredza Minhat – ‘Fakir’ in the movie Pisau Cukur.
22. Xabi Alonso – used to play for Liverpool, now he is Ronaldo’s team-mate (Real Madrid).
23. Jonathan Rhys Meyes – actor & model for Hugo.
24. The Rock – a WWF wrestler. Hahaha ;) oh. He’s an actor too. ;P
25. Iqram Dinzly – a Malaysian actor.
26. Kimi Raikkonen – F1 driver.
27. Farid Kamil – I used to like him in the movie “Lagenda Budak Setan”.

FEMALE

1. Megan Fox.
2. Fazura – I love her since Gol & Gincu.
3. Heidi Klum – a model who never fails on the runway.
4. Ellen DeGeneres – she always makes me laugh during her talk show.
5. Blake Lively - “Serena” in the Gossip Girl.
6. Dato’ Siti Nurhaliza – I personally think no one has beaten her in female vocals, until now.
7. Intan Ladyana – a Malaysian actress.
8. Sophia Bush – the reason why I watched One Tree Hill.
9. Naima – America’s Next Top Model contestant.
10. Katherine Heigl – she has a natural talent in acting.

Shafura Onn.

21 yrs & 5 months

2010-11-20T07:37:00.000-08:00

I’ve been living for 21 years and 5 months now, and all I can say is there’s still a whole heck of a lot to learn. Life is a journey after all, isn’t it?

Meeting different types of people of various places enables me be an observer. Yes, I’m pretty sure that I was born as one. I love to look at humans, their faces, skills, actions, etc. And somehow I do think I can read someone’s mind, but it is from my own interpretation. That’s why I keep my thoughts off people’s knowledge. I just feel and say it to myself. Coz the fear of losing in self-trust is much harder to bear than knowing if my expectation of other mankind is wrong.

I’m just an ordinary slave of The Almighty, and I’m sinful. Keeping a balance of God-human and human-human relationships isn’t an easy task. Some people are very pious towards performing their life based on what their religions has taught them: they pray a lot, they fast willingly, they attend usrah without fail. Another group of people I’ve seen is the ones who don’t really put themselves in efforts of inner self development, in other words, they value human-human relationship more as they enjoy life to the fullest.

If I were to choose which group to fit in, I don’t think I’d belong to either one. I’ve met those who can lead me to the way a Muslim should be heading, but they are bounded by borders. They don’t really impress me on how joys should be filled in every moment of doing kindness. Too much limit makes me feel like they don’t really put this “Islam itu mudah” in their actions. Coz I believe this saying is practical, but not everyone can see it. This is only seen by selected ones, and I hope I can meet at least one of them in future.

About the second group, these people respect others; they don’t easily judge humans, love fills their heart and they are just easy-going and adorable. They are kind too, towards other living creatures. However, most of the people in this group I’ve observed are not-so-close to God. I’m not saying that they’re bad, but they don’t really take Islamic lifestyle into accounts. And I do think this is frightening enough as we’re not only living for now, but Muslims believe in life after, which is known as Kiamat and Akhirat where we’ll be rewarded for our good deeds or punished for our sins.

That is the reason why I say putting a balance is hard, but I believe it isn’t impossible.

Case 1: I asked my friend why she dated a jerk. Why I called him a jerk? He hurt my friend a lot; he said bad things to her, he scolded her for no reason, he clarified himself as single in front of other women though he was not at that time. When I served the question to my friend, she answered “I dated him coz he never fails to pray and he asked me to cover my aurat when we’re webcam-ing.”
--> Can u guys get what I wanna say? This fellow (the man) keeps a good relationship with God, he encourages people to do good, but he FAILS in creating a harmony in human-human relationship.

When I was in matrix, I once promised myself and my friends a thing. Dear buddies, if u think I’ve forgotten about it, u’re wrong. I still have that in mind. Keep my words, ONE DAY I WILL. INSYAALLAH.

p/s: there was a drama aired on TV3 entitled "Sama Tapi Tak Serupa" which portrayed about the same scenario I highlighted above. If you guys are interested to understand what I’m seeing and saying, try google/youtube for the drama. I bet u’ll know better after watching it. :D

shafuraa onn. 201110. 0043. Bandar Baru UDA, JB.

Dear Lord, Thank You. :)

2010-11-06T09:23:00.000-07:00

I'M HAPPY, THANK YOU LORD, AND ALL.

I dont hv everything I want. But what I possess right now is enough. More than one cud ask for in life.

1. Haji Onn & Hajah Narimah.
These are my ultimate strengths. I know they'll do anything to bring smiles on my face. Mama selalu berpuasa setiap kali saya exam, abah pulak selalu tanya kat mama "dah tefon budak-budak hari ni?". And they'll be sacrificing whole-heartedly so that their daughters get what they want, regardless of how bad we are. I love you, mama & abah. Thanks for bringing me to life. I cant thank u guys enuf, but I hope I can take care of you in the next few years. InsyaAllah. :)

2. Haji Ibrahim & Hajah Maimunah.
My grandparents. Rumah mereka = rumah kedua saya. Toknah akan ingat saya adik-beradik setiap kali dia makan kfc ke pizza ke atau benda-benda lain. And dia seboleh-boleh akan simpankan untuk kami sampai kami datang rumah dia. Dia pun selalu masakkan lauk yang best bila kami balik bercuti. "Nak makan apa? Nanti atuk masak." And Toknah selalu tanya siapa bf saya and suruh kenalkan kat dia. Sporting bukan? ;P Tokyem pulak selalu beli jajan supaya bila ktorg dtg rumah dia, ktorg boleh makan tu semua. Icecream, keropok dan macam2 lagi. Saya selalu berharap mereka panjang umur sekurang-kurangnya sampai saya benar-benar dewasa. Saya benar-benar berharap.

3. Lala, Hairie & Eqa
My sisters and my bro-in-law yg saya dah anggap like my own flesh & blood. They are my siblings and my buddies. Walaupun Lala dah kahwin, saya x pernah rasa jauh dgn dia. Sebab kami masih pergi jalan sama2, buka puasa sama2, etc. Eqa toksah cakaplah, kami selalu bergaduh dan bergosip bersama. Ketiadaan adik lelaki tidak memberi kesan kepada saya sbb saya & eqa selalu je fight sepak terajang semua. ;P

4. My super-duper terrific buddies.
Susah nak describe koloni rakan2 saya. Ada yg kenal dr tadika, ada yg dari sekolah rendah & menengah, ada yg dari matriks and of course la bertambah bila dah masuk U. My bestie is very far far away, di Penn State sana, tp kami selalu contact, so x terasa pn dia jauh. Rakan2 rapat yang lain ada di UKM & JB. Kami sangat rapat sbb dari all-girls school, so bonding tu mmg erat sgt. Kalau dengan coursemates pula, kami rapat sebab everyday jumpa, like somehow, we share personal stories and problems. Therefore I hope, one day, my future other half can get along with all of them. Coz I dont think I cud make up my mind if I were to choose my besties or my bf (future) if they are not in good terms.

InsyaAllah, I'll be back home this coming wed, 101110. Cant wait to be with my loved ones! :D

Shafura Onn. 071110. 0101. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

I dont love you.

2010-10-29T00:51:00.000-07:00

While writing this, I'm reminiscing something I used to have drugs on - MCR's I dont love you. Everyone knew this song when I was in matrix. It accompanied me when I ironed my clothes, it was the main song people sang in the toilets and those who didnt have it in their cell phones were geeks.

After few years of abandoning the group as well as their masterpieces, a line of this song's lyric popped out of nowhere. Nevertheless, it suits well with my current feelings towards my crush. " I dont love you like I did yesterday " makes sense after 36 months. I dont find him adoringly any longer. And my reverence of him seems to be fading away, I guess.

No, nothing serious has happened. We still communicate like we used to, but, the feeling is just disappearing. People say "if u love a person, u tend to be acceptive of his/her strengths and weaknesses as love is all about completing each other". But I just cant develop this for him, at least not for now. Therefore, I believe he's not for me. Coz I know, if love is on my way, I'll have someone I'll be head over heels with he himself for real.

So yeah, thats how it goes. For now. ;P

I'm fucking addicted to Grenade by Bruno Mars. Omg! Its effing good! Why not u guys hear it? I bet u'll be on my side. ;) oh One more thing, KHJ-Hwangbo in "We got married" is freaking awesome! and yes, he's still one of my antibiotics. :D

Guten nacht people. :)

Shafura Onn. 0134. 301010. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

OMG !

2010-10-24T08:42:00.000-07:00

OMG !!!

Actually its not that very high-pitch of ur voice. Slow it down. Haaaa. Thats better. :P

Ok now I cant stop screaming! OMG! He's a smoker! Waaaaaaaaa :'(

Yes, he's a smoker by now. Cant believe this is true. Hope his confession was a dream. Ahh.

I got ur dont-get-it face. Yes, I know. Whats wrong if he smokes? It doesnt make him bad and notorious? A far cry. But still, I prefer the old him. He wasnt a fan of cigarettes when I knew him few years back. Thats why I'm shocked and yes, a bit disappointed when the truth was revealed. I wish I didnt ask him at all. What to do, curiosity kills. Ok, at least not u, but me? Definitely a nodding head.

Notes calling. Tc people.

Shafura Onn. 0000. 251010. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM Bangi.

its the time of the month

2010-10-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Almighty,

I know I'm far from You. I'm aware that I'm only looking for You when I'm in trouble or when I need of something. I'm Your slave but I dont look like one, am I?

Only You know how I feel. All that I'm encountering right now is Your gift. And I'm very much grateful for that. Coz I believe, its a test for me, so that I wont stray far from u.

Therefore, I'm seeking for Your bless and sympathy to detach this feeling away. I'm intensely confused. And I couldnt hold it any longer. I thought I'm strong, but I'm not.

Ya Allah, Kau yang memberi dan Kau juga yang mengambilnya sekiranya itu mahuMu. Ambillah kembali perasaan sedih ini. Amin.

Shafura Onn. 231010. 0135. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM Bangi.

Ohoyyy Redang!

2010-10-08T04:08:00.000-07:00

Hola people!

Seems like I’ve forgotten this freedom-of-speech medium for quite some time. Oh yes, I’m super duper busy like always. Assignments are piling a hell up like they never exist before and final exams are only about a fortnight away. Like adding salt to the wound, I have no study week at all for this term! Isn’t it crazy? Gosh.

Despite the recent upside-down days I’ve got to go thru, I was still able to have some days with my pen off my hands. Last weekend, actually from Thursday-Sunday (300910-031010), I went to Terengganu’s Redang Island for a quick yet sweet holiday for I guess, this year. Along with the family of pestakonvo 37, I had successfully skipped from the hustle and bustle of the city (and my uni as well) to enjoy snorkeling and be friends with the corals. Oh naaa. I got injured as my feet hit onto the corals coz the depth of the sea water decreased as u moved nearer to the edge of the sea. So the corals get higher and since my legs are quite long, I couldn’t see far behind. And yes, I hit one of them, got some bleeding and bruises. Luckily it wasn’t serious and I can see it recovering, after taking some medicines of course.

The island was soooo beautiful. Omg. The sea water was awesome, the chalet was convenience, the cuisines were mouth-watering, the people were friendly enough. Oh man, what else can I ask for? :D

Since pictures tell a thousand words, I let them do the talking. :)

--> seawater

--> pestakonvo 37 crew

--> fab 4. ;P

thats all for now. Toodles!

Shafura Onn. 1929. 081010. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM Bangi.

Grateful. :)

2010-09-01T01:30:00.000-07:00

Hello dear peeps!

310810 – Malaysia’s 53rd Independence Day. And one of my besties’s bornday too, Azah. I went home for about 5 days, thus I was able to enjoy the break-fasting with my loved ones; Abah, Mama, Lala, Hairie and Eqa. It was fun! A real blast I’d say. Loitering in bazaar, sahur in kfc, raya shopping with toknah, tokyem’s new electrical gate and porch were those I had my laughs on. And yes, I’m totally grateful for what I have, rather than to be miserable for things that absent.

After about 21 years of existence, I personally believe that there’re two things I’d be most thankful for. First, my family; they are my strength, they’re the reasons I’m living for, after The Almighty. And all that I’ve achieved so far belongs to them especially the backbones of myself; Abah and Mama. Supports and encouragements are their gifts since I was born. Along with tokyem and toknah, my great grandparents, there’d be no excuses for me not being able to have smiles carved along my journey. Lala and eqa, the most awesome elder and younger sisters one could ask for. And now, I have a brother too, Hairie, Lala’s hubby. He’s like my own flesh and blood.

Come second in my thoughts is the health. Without good health, there’s no use of having a Mercedes in front of the house or a company that runs a million dollar business. What for if the savings can only be looked at but not to spend unless on drugs in medicines? If people laugh when they see you taking half bowl of rice, along with vegetables and a small portion of meat, its no time to be bothered coz its not about dieting now, its about prioritizing your body condition. Also, being skinny isn’t the pink anymore if you’re diagnosed as an anorexic.

Its 0121 now, and after hours of trying to get connected to the Internet, the access is still denied. I don’t know how and why this happens, but apparently, I have to get moving to the next agenda; sleeping. Haha ;P

Take care people. Have a nice day. :)

Shafura onn. 010910. 0125. Kolej ungku omar, UKM Bangi.

1 Malaysia

2010-08-18T06:55:00.000-07:00

Salam Ramadhan everyone. :)

Today marked the 8th day of fasting and Muslims will all be celebrating Eid in 3 weeks' time. Since our nation is having kinda year-end sale now (so this is the time to get ur Hari Raya clothes, bags, shoes and what not), KL seems to be tremendously hectic not only on weekends coz thats for sure, but also on weekdays. And why the hell are those perfectly uniformed ladies loitering around with handful of plastic bags on Monday in Midvalley when its not even lunch time?;P

I had my break-fasting yesterday in the hostel's cafe with zeti, tira and tira (yes, two persons with the same exact name), some of college seniors and tey. Tey is one of my lecture-mates in Parasitology class and also an Omarian. And he's a Chinese too. Isnt it sweet to have someone in different race as well as belief to join ur break-fasting moment? And he didnt touch the food or pick up his drink until the call of Maghrib. Amazing right? Maybe this is what ''1 Malaysia'' is all about as we will be enjoying our 53rd Independence on this coming 31st August. Yes, its all about respecting people's way of life.

Gosh. tomorrow's thursday. I have classes from 1-7pm. and the worst part is, there'll be an experiment involving the blood of rats of which have to be obtained when the rats are still alive. I'm not sure if I'm gonna survive but one thing I'm certain of; I'll be screaming out loud with the forceps in hands! Waaaaaaaa

I'm addicted to 'Love The Way You Lie' by Rihanna ft. Eminem. Korang try lah dengar. :D

Shafura Onn. 2245. 180810. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM Bangi.

2010-08-03T04:54:00.000-07:00

its the third day of August when I realized I havent blogged for quite a few days already. Time flies in the blink of eyes and tonnes of works are waiting to be done. Proposal for final year project needs to be submitted next week and my supervisor wanted to check the introduction part this Friday. Yes, now is already Tuesday and I havent finished writing that yet. I predicted that thesis-making is complicated but I have no clues that it'd be like damn hard! Every single statement or fact needs a proof. For example, termites are believed to be the earliest-evolving social insects, with their complex societies (Korb et. al 2007). You have to mention the sources of the information where it is taken from.

All Muslims in the world are welcoming Ramadhan in a week's time but I've started fasting since last week. Yeah, last year's debt. hukkk ;P

I had a glass of iced coffee in about 30 mins ago, but apparently the caffeine in it wasnt sufficient enuf to get my eyes widely open. They are not even half alert. I'm not sure about this but it seems like every single meal I had contained drugs. I feel sleepy and fatigue even though I do nothing really tiring at the moment.

I'm addicted to Lady Gaga's Monster for the time being. So why not u guys have ur ears on it? ;D

Shafura Onn. 0004. 040810. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM Bangi.

bila bosan bebel sorang-sorang

2010-07-22T22:25:00.000-07:00

I’m listening to Michael Buble’s Havent Met U Yet while writing this out. Gosh. Life’s so boring when u cant get urself connected to society. In my case, 1 hour seems to have more than 100 mins when the internet connection fails to meet its way to my room. And somehow, I could feel myself kinda lost recently. The unsure feelings of unknown reasons have made my day far more complicated I guess. Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, this came to my mind ‘’ Heyyyyy! Wake up dude! U’re 21 and u’ve sort of given up on ur life?? Come on! Life’s easy as ABC! Hell yeah! ’’

Tomorrow, the 23rd of July, I’m going to pahang for the ___th time. Seems like I failed to recall. The crew will be departed late in the evening and from my calculation, we’ll be arriving at midnight. Ahhhh. I’m gonna be exhausted the very nexy day. Can a degree be done in a simplier method? How I wish that to be a reality.

I saw my crush just now. So what did I do then? No no…u guys are guessing wrongly, I didn’t fall in front of him nor say this ‘’ I lost my number, can I have yours?’’. I just stalked him from far. Eh, wait. Was it stalking if u just had a look at a person the same way u did to others? Coz I wasn’t hiding behind walls or wearing all-black! Pppffftttt.

Now the winamp is playing Eenie Meenie by Justin Bieber ft. Sean Kingston. Haaaaa…Who the hell said I love JB?? NOOOO WAYYYYY! Hahahaha..but it is undeniable that his songs are capable of getting us (YOU & ME, don’t bluff urself. haha) carried away. ‘’ Baby, baby, baby ohh..baby, baby, baby nooo..I thought u’d always be mine..’’ ;))

I dreamt of my crush last nite. No no, not the one I mentioned above. This was my crush two years back, and he’s one of my buddy. Yeah…its ‘friend with feelings’ kinda thing. But I left my words of saying ‘’ I like u’’ unspoken. I wasn’t brave enuf, I didn’t want to put our friendship on risk. And I learned a lesson. U never know if u don’t give it a shot. Life’s short, its better to be hurt than feel nothing at all.

Enuf of crapping. Get back to ur business, shafura. Yes, u need sufficient sleep. ;P

Shafura onn. 0051. 230710. Kolej ungku omar, UKM bangi.

1ST LIVE SHOW & GBC! ♥

2010-07-16T03:15:00.000-07:00

hye everyone! hope u guys are doing great, just like myself having extremely enjoyable moments for two days recently. And what were the things I up to then?

1. First and foremost, I'd like to announce that my 1st ever watching live performance was on 140710! hahaha this enables me to remember that the joy happened when I was 21, the age everybody seems to wait for, the green light of freedom I personally think. And the almost 2.5 hour-kind-of-concert was SHOWDOWN 2010, the reality tv show aired on 8tv every Wed at 9.30pm. Its concept was all about the art of dancing and most of the contestants are capable of performing break dances and what not. They had different challenges based on a particular theme every week, out of which they gradually transformed from bboys to dancers. And yes, they had to struggle a lot as their creativity and originality were put on tests.

Initially, there were 12 crews which were eliminated every single week until they became the final 3. And they were GILLER BATTLE CREW (GBC), wakaka and floor fever. My obvious support is to of course, the one and only, GBC! They lost to wakaka crew in the final battle, but still, I'm so very proud of them. They are the truth, authentic, outstanding and fierce. I just cant stop loving them! :D

These were the proofs I was there in KL LIVE, watching the show live.

GBC were the ones in red

with my fav on the show, bboy juicy.

the wall of Showdown 2010. Eliminated groups crossed their names off the wall.

free pass. thanks kak jannah!

2. Secondly, on the very next day, I had a makeover and photo shoots done by Clinique as they conducted a promotion in UKM. Just by 30 bucks, I got free lip gloss, a serum, and rm50 voucher of Salon Esprit in Pavilion KL. The picture taken is for own keep anyhow. Coz it was a way too different from my usual self. hahaha *malu*

GBC will be performing at Ampang Point tomorrow and I'm not sure of attending coz it has been a busy week for me. Yes, I'm exhausted but GBC needs their supporters after they got defeated. Should I or shouldnt I go?

shafura onn. 160710. 1942. kolej ungku omar, UKM.

FIRST

2010-07-13T09:49:00.000-07:00

Suddenly the idea of writing this popped out of my head couple of minutes ago due to some critical thinking.

I personally feel that every first of everything is difficult as the list goes as follows:

1. the FIRST few months of infancy is so very crucial as it determines the development of a baby. No, I'm not saying this because I'm a mother; it is way in the future. Ouh, I've been accidentally bumped into so many kids lately!

2. FIRST love is always hard to forget. It has never been easy for anyone; I mean a real true love, not a puppy one.

3. FIRST move can never be done without having butterflies in the stomach, regardless of both genders. Mars' creatures love women who take this as a challenge coz it is the only way of knowing how hard it is for men, but somehow, I can’t convince myself to try it, maybe not for now.

4. FIRST day of every experience tests your physical, intellectual and emotional capabilities. The unknown possibilities when u first entered a kindergarten, the will of fasting when u first met ur Ramadhan, the anxiousness of getting through an interview or a licence, or even a small conversation with ur future mother-in-law. All these need courage, confidence and a perfect mindset, no matter if u're 5 or 26. Age doesnt matter, but maturity does.

5. FIRST heartbreak has usually been a nightmare for everyone who's suffering from it. It might be an excellent start if ur partner is an abusive drug-addict or someone who checks the calories in every meal u eat. But it can also be an inhibitor to a happy life if the breaking does not end in a good way as news have few times covered suicidal out of depressions.

My eyes are half-opened and the bed's calling. Guten nacht people. See you guys real soon, if we ever meet again.

shafura onn. 140710. 0135. kolej ungku omar, UKM bangi.

how are you, dear peeps?

2010-07-11T09:23:00.000-07:00

Ola beautiful people! Its been a month since I last wrote something here and now I'm back! ohh I miss doing stuff I love and finally nothing's gonna stop me from portraying all that I've gone through into this tiny space of mine. :)

I'm entering my 5th semester in UKM, which means my final year is on! I'm a senior okeyhhh. woot woot. Looking at the i-know-nothing-here-and-i'm-lost kinda face of the freshies, it reminds me of how innocent my looks were when I first stepped my feet at the hostel and faculty. hahaha Time flies so very fast and oh god, I'm 21 now?? I still pull my sister's hair when we got a cat fight! wink wink ;)

Despite Portugal's defeat and Ronaldo's defect during this year's World Cup, plus the confession he has made to media that he's now a father to a son, I still adore him. I bluff if I say I didnt disappointed with his sort of awful performance at the moment, but I know he knows that fact too. So yeah, I'm quite convinced by his all-time aura, that he'll wake up real soon. Hopefully issues will turn out awesome by the time Spanish League kicks its ass after the curtain falls down for 2010's World Cup.

Its already almost 2 hours passed 12am and my class starts later at 8. Gosh. Its 8am on monday?? Couldnt the system understand humans? No no no, I couldnt feel my head nodding.

p/s: to all my Chinese readers, if u guys wanna leave ur comments, could you please write them in Malay or English? I cant understand Mandarin or any other languages other than those two I first mentioned. I'm so sorry, its my bad. Thank you.

shafura onn. 120710. kolej ungku omar, ukm bangi.

gosh! I'm nervous!

2010-06-10T20:22:00.001-07:00

Oh man, I'm freaking nervous right now! In few mins, I'll be meeting some Americans and the worst part is they gonna be joining my team to Pahang! Gosh. This is frightening enuf as our most worries would be how to understand their accent as long as are we able to step up to their expectations. Like adding salt to the wound, they're doing research on stick insects while ours are basically on termites. Can u guys imagine how ''mouthful'' the conversations gonna be like?

Anyhow, since worldcup 2010's gonna kick its ass tonite, I cant resist myself from voting for Portugal. And France too. My fav player is of course Cristiano Ronaldo, but this time around there's addition of Yoann Gourcuff (France). With Brazil in the same group, Portugal really needs miracles to shine. So all the best Portuguese!

Now I'm on the way to KLIA, fetching for the Americans. Butterflies are running like hell in my tummy. Gosh. There's only one way to escape from this feeling: praying.

Shafura Onn. 110610. 1120. In the car.

2010-05-31T22:43:00.000-07:00

I wish I could update more but I'm super duper terribly busy! seems like 24 hrs a day isnt enuf for me to update things around and hopefully by the end of June, my hectic life would meet its end. for the time being, I'm away from getting myself on the go as I'm enjoying my days off the pitch for about one week. in the middle of this month, I'll be traumatizing myself again, as my sampling will be done in Endau-Rompin Dipterocarp Forest. Wish me luck guys!

oh god, I cant wait for this coming Thursday! Legenda Budak Setan will be released and I'm gonna catch it out with my buddies! weehoo! and Killers sounds good too. with Ashton Kutcher in it, I cant hold myself from getting queued for the tickets. :)

while thursday might be a real blast for me, Friday seems to be oppositely frightening. Rumours say my result for the semester will be out! gosh, dont know what to expect from it, but at least, I'm praying not to get a heart attack when looking at the grades. huh

gtg people. tc!

shafura onn. 1.32 am, 1/6/10. bandar baru UDA, johor bahru.

just blah.

2010-05-08T11:10:00.000-07:00

While writing this out, my heart seems to be in mess. I have uncertainties, I’m very much confused.

You, who texted me about an hour ago, could you please leave the situation as it is now?

I know and am very well aware that you’ve done good things to me, you did sacrifice for me, and no doubt you once taught me what happiness was all about. But I’ve moved on since you last appeared months ago. And I know that’s the best for me since “being us” is a big NO-NO. Thus, I’m begging you to really take your steps away from me. Stop appearing in front of me or stay invisible if you can coz I don’t want to hear from you and I really don’t want to see you any longer. Please, get it.

I'm not hating you but you're making things harder for me, haven’t u realised that?

shafura onn. 2.17 am, 9/5/10. bandar baru UDA, johor bahru.

top 5!

2010-05-05T00:02:00.000-07:00

I’m updating my favourites from time to time. Here are those for now:

1. Cristiano Ronaldo.
Oh god, I can’t get this hell out of my head since I first noticed him 4 years back. And even though he has left MU for Real Madrid, I still like him. At first, I thought I’d hate him if he’s no longer a Red Devil, unfortunately, I was wrong. This may sound crazy but he’s my first celebrity crush, I mean the official one. Looking at how well he is now at Santiago Bernabeu, I bet he’s happy with life he’s having for the moment. Its about a month to go for World Cup 2010 and I’m very anxious to see him back on Portugal International Team. Hopefully, he’ll do wonders.

2. Remy Ishak
I never meet him yet but I personally think he’s hot. Haha ;P I started to like him since he played Adam in Nur Kasih series.

3. Casey James
It has been my habit to adore at least one in a competition or battle. If not, I might not watch the screening. This time around, I love CJ from the American Idol season 9. Physically, he’s got what it takes to be the next nerve-breaking persona- voice, looks, aura, style and what not. Thus, I wish I’ll see him on finals this year.

4. B-Boy Juicy
Ok. I cant say much about this guy. I just watched Showdown 2010- it’s a reality tv show on break-dancing, roughly its all about basics, skills, choreography and team work on that particular art. And this dude is from Giller Battle Crew of the show. I’m not sure if I’m more attracted to bad-looking, no, I’d say naughty-faced guys compared to more or less like David-Archuleta-kind-of-boy, but it seems I’ve fallen for some whom I found out via shows on tv. In reality, I guess, hmmm, not yet determined.

5. A****
This is more to reality as above is the name of my crush right now. Haha ;P as far as I’m concerned, he’s studying in the same uni as mine (but he’s not my college-mate), tall, dark, bald, but I’d say he has everything a man should be possessing. Anyhow, like I used to be doing, I kind of admiring him from far since we both aren’t friends. So yeah, just let the time do the verdict.

shafura onn. 3.40 pm, 5/5/10. bandar baru UDA, johor bahru.

2nd yr, stop!

2010-04-27T23:13:00.000-07:00

yesterday marked a stop to my 2nd-yr journey in UKM. and of course, I was overwhelmed to the fact that I'll be entering my final yr next sem! omg, time flies damn so fast. I was packing my things when I saw a temporary student card which was used during my orientation week last 24 months. the nerdy innocent face of mine was clearly portrayed on that. oh, I cant hold my laughs anymore! haha

nevertheless, despite being extremely ecstatic and anxious of becoming a final-year student, deep inside, I personally think that my period of enjoying my days has also officially ended by now. I didnt play much during my first two semesters here as I was still adapting to new environment, new friends and what not. as for next 270 days starting early July this yr, there's no time for lepak-ing in the malls or going nuts while watching EPL anymore coz doing thesis can really pull ur hair upwards and I bet I'll be on the go all the time. It may sound like a white lie coz of course, I personally am unable to resist doing those two, but like I've been told earlier by some lecturers and seniors, thesis-making is so very complicated. thus, I guess my time for other less necessary things will be limited.

I've done 70% of clearing my stuff out of the closet and I'll be in my hometown, InsyaAllah by tomorrow. it has been a while since I last met my sisters and I really miss them. and I miss everything in jb- home, ma, abah, tokyem, toknah, food and even my topsy-turvy room! the messiness in there makes my heart grows even fonder. haha :D

oh god! I just found out about a second ago that my crush has chopped down his hair! he is now bald! I repeat, BALD! waaaa, I cant imagine! and I dont want to! haha

shafura onn. 2.59 pm, 28/4/10. kolej ungku omar,ukm,bangi

awesome!

2010-04-24T06:14:00.000-07:00

now its down to two more exams! wootwoot! i'm very much anxious for some breaks and eventually my holidays will kick its butt starting from 27th evening onwards. 1-week-exam-gap makes me lazy, as it triggers my mood of watching dramas all over again, plus, searching for gossips and what not. time flies like flash and suddenly, I'm on weekends! I was supposed to yell "weeehoooo" but unfortunately, weekends dont give any meaning if u just stay in ur room, looking at the disastrous notes, as the next exam will be on Monday. Can Monday be more likeable?

anyhow, it seems like I cant enjoy much of my 3-month-off-books period as I'll have to go to Pahang, again. but this time around, its not for fieldwork, but its for my thesis. yes, u guys arent reading any wrong. As I'll be entering my final yr next term, I'd have to start collecting data for the thesis. therefore, I'll be in Pahang for a fortnight, if things go well. if not, I'll ought to stay there longer. but nevermind, the place promises me a beach, so I guess starfishes will be my friends soon. :)

I have to stop now. the books are calling like hell. toodles people!

btw, MU won their third last match over Tottenham, 3-1! weehooo! chels, u better be careful. :P

shafura onn. 9.37 pm, 24/4/10. kolej ungku omar,ukm,bangi

what?

2010-04-21T07:10:00.000-07:00

these are what I've been feeling for recent days:

1. insecure
2. sad
3. hatred
4. uneasy
5. what? pehal lu nak sibuk?

bak kata nidji, roda memang sudah berputar. I'm now believing in that. I really do.

shafura onn. 10.37 pm, 21/4/10. kolej burhanuddin helmi,ukm,bangi.

JGS

2010-04-18T10:43:00.000-07:00

it has been days since I last shitted on the previous post. life's good, and it couldnt be any greater. since my next two papers will be on another week, I guess its time for me to unwind a bit. alahaiii, cakap macam study banyak jek. did u forget that u slept for 12 hours last night? ;P

these are things I've been thinking/doing for the past 8 days:

1. I've been watching U'RE BEAUTIFUL like timesss. and I even memorized the scripts. not all, but only those I love hearing. :)

2. I've fallen in love, no, I guess its still early, thus I decided to put them only on my crush list. they're Jang Geuk Suk, Nicholas Hoult and Yoann Gourcuff. the 1st heart-melter is a Korean actor (oh I love looking at his angry face!), the 2nd hunk is an actor from 'The Clash of the Titans' and the last one is a footballer for France National Team. I guess I'd be voting for Portugal (Ronaldo in there) and France too for World Cup 2010, due to this new discovery of Mars creature.

3. I've downloaded songs as well as lyrics sang by JGS. as its written in Korean language, my tongue seems to meet my teeth everytime I try to sing along winamp. :-D

4. I've decided I'll do what I ought to do. when the right time comes, I'll definitely give it a shot. I must.

5. I dreamt of my used-to-be crush. he was beaten by culprits from my U. it didnt make any sense, did it? and to those who can actually rise meanings out of this dream plz shout out your comments ya. ;P

shafura onn. 2.46 am, 19/4/10. ukm,bangi.

4th sem's exams

2010-04-11T06:20:00.000-07:00

a guaranteed disaster will be hitting my days starting from tomorrow onwards until 27th of april '10. now i'm almost at the end of the term so there's nothing scarier than exams. i'll be on my final year next july and I MUST obtain good results this time.

i personally feel i'm quite motivated during this study week as library has been my port approximately for 5 days out of 7, compared to last three semesters which I didnt even step in the fifth-floored-building, not for once.

unfortunately, I think this is the first time (as far as I remember) I really feel insecure. I didnt get what I've learned, I failed to understand and I had this short-term memory loss. I forget my notes the next minute after reading them, and this is the saddest part of all. dulu pun bukannya pandai dapat 4flat segala, but at least boleh tulis something kat answer sheets tuh. but this time around, I feel different, totally different.

I told my friend about my case and she said this " hmmm. ada problem lain ke, dengan orang/kawan?". i said " problem tu sentiasa je ada, ada je benda yang boleh buat hilang mood semua, but I guess its still under-control."

anyhow, i'll try my best to get rid of any disturbance, any negative feelings and also any distractions near me. Dear Almighty, I've always believed U are the only ONE that gives me ups and downs, happiness and cry, ways and obstacles. and U are also the only ONE who can feel and understand me, as what I feel is UR gift. therefore, as UR slave, I'm praying for UR lights to brighten up shadowed path in front of me. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah segala urusanku dan keluargaku. Ameen. :)

shafura onn. 10.04 pm, 11/4/10. ukm,bangi.

happy yet hesitate?

2010-04-09T09:23:00.000-07:00

Responding to my post on Monday, March 29 of this year entitled I'm crushing again!, here's the result:

yes, I MET him. 2 times. and I was over the moon, I was very much ecstatic! Dear Almighty, thank you for giving me this oppurtunities. and only YOU know how exactly I feel as I could sense happiness rushing thru my veins at that time, which eventually gave rise of smiles on my face. :-D

I promised myself I'd add him up in FB if I bump into him. and I met him, but I'm now hesitating as if I dont even know what I want before. thats pretty upsetting, but I do hope I can convince my own self.

Ya tuhan, yakinkanlah aku dengan instinct yang KAU berikan. Sesungguhnya KAU tidak pernah salah dalam menetapkan sesuatu takdir untuk hambaMU.

shafura onn. 12.54 am, 10/4/10. ukm,bangi.

RED PEUGEOT 308

2010-04-06T13:22:00.000-07:00

Aku tersedar dari tidur yang memberikan mimpi yang susah difahami beberapa minit yang lepas dan lappy kini menunjukkan jam 3.45 pagi. “ Nak buat apa eh pagi-pagi nih?”, mindaku berdialog. “ Mungkin aku patut baca semula nota yang aku buat tadi, exam pun dah dekat”, hatiku menjawab. Yelah, x kenal x cinta kan. So why not familiarise kan diri dengan histo dan fisio supaya aku jatuh suka pada mereka. Nota diambil, baru lima baris ayat dibaca ketika mindaku berkata lagi, “ Esok je lah sambung baca. Aku x dapat nak concentrate”.

Study week bermula sejak Isnin lepas dan exam pertamaku, biometri dijadualkan 8 hari selepas itu. Oh biometri, susahnya nak faham kau. Teringat betapa blurrnya aku ketika terpandang formula CRD tadi. Hmmm, tak mengapalah. Esok cuba lagi. Kalau x boleh nak faham pun, harap-harap boleh hafal step-step pengiraannya.

Banyak sangat gangguan bila semester menunjukkan garisan penamatnya. Dan aku, seperti biasalah, senang sangat being carried away dengan perkara-perkara remeh yang patut dideletekan dari hipotalamus. (ye ke hipotalamus? Tak apalah kalau salah pun). Sesaat kemudian: Bukan hipotalamus lah, its amygdala [pronounced uh-MIG duh-luh] of the brain which was thought to store painful and emotion-related memories, and also initiates memory storage in other brain regions. So, nampaknya amygdala ku berfungsi dengan sangat cekap, ye lah, aku masih ingat segala insiden yang melibatkan emosi. :-D

Anyhow, aku sangatlah berharap yang tumpuanku kini dominan pada studyku sahaja. Aku x boleh nak main-main lagi kalau nak pakai red Peugeot 308 as my first car and the first pay should be able to buy Jimmy Choo’s shoes, Balenciaga handbag, shades of Dior, SK-II products, and not forgetting, buat hair treatment at A’Cut Above. Wahhh, what an exaggerating dream! ;-P

shafura onn. 5.10 am, 7/4/10. ukm,bangi.

tradisi kah? ;P

2010-04-02T07:38:00.000-07:00

kawan: " puraa. asal kaw x penah couple lg eh? kaw lesbian eh?? "

saya: " hahahahaha kalau x couple tu maknenye lesbian la eh?? ;P "

to those who served me this question before, here's my answer.

I always have crush on people, I repeat ALWAYS. but love still hasnt met its way to me. I believed, it hasnt destined to me, yet. And maybe, its due to my own mindset, of which resulting from my background.

To have a family with 90% close relatives all around me, my grandparents of both sides live a stone's throw from my house as well as my uncles & aunts stay nearby, it has been a TRADITION (I guess) in my family to be attached to someone of the same origin or at least, state. and my mom did say something like this to me, " mama xnak org jauh." and when I said " kalau da jodoh mcm mane?", she said " kalau da jodoh terima je lah. tapi mama kalau boleh x nak." "klau boleh" of my mom means "have to". Nevertheless, just to prove that she’s flexible and not being pushy, my mom did extend her choice of state of son-in-law-to-be, its from JB to PAHANG. Maybe not pahang, its until KL. haha ;P

so everytime I'm in an almost relationship-to-be, its either that guy doesnt fit to be my other half or he might not be someone my mom's gonna like/ approve. I dont
wanna take any risks, so MAYBE its good to terminate a relationship before it went too far, before any hopes hanging on me. Kalau kertas yang dah bergam lama, pasti susah nak tanggal kan? thats the analogy.

Plus, I’ve never imagined myself staying far from my other flesh and blood. I’m not a mom’s pet or whatever u might term it, but I just want and ought to give her the feeling of secure ness. And after all, I personally think that my mom wants the best for her daughters. Syurga pun terletak bawah kaki ibu, so x salah lah kalau kita hanya nak buat dye bahagia, kan? ;D

I’m dedicating this post to whoever ever has a glance of thought of asking me this kind of question. So, there u go people. I officially lock my answer now. ;D

lol,
shafura onn

my other half

2010-03-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

it has been quite a while since we last met each other. and I miss u guys. I really really do.

1. Hj Onn Abdul Rahim & Hjh Narimah Ibrahim, Shafiera Onn & Hairie Zairel Oh, Shafiqaa Onn

2. Hj Ibrahim Mohamed & Hjh Maimunah Yusoff

3. Nuraini Mohd Jaffar

4. Nurul Hafeefe Kamaruddin, Irena Naubi, Fatimah Ismail, Nor Aida Ahmed.

5. Life Science 22 as well as all my fellow comrades in JMC 08/09.

now i'm counting days to go home to meet these people, my other half. till then, may my prayers be with u. ♥

with ♥,
shafura onn.

I'm crushing again! ♥

2010-03-29T05:41:00.000-07:00

setelah hampir 2 tahun di ukm, akhirnya, saya rasa saya suke seseorg. haha *blushing*. I'm having a real crush on him, I really do. memanglah before ni pun pernah, tp tu suke tgk je. xdela sampai nak kenal. but this time around, its different coz saya rase bende yang same mse time matriks dulu. ♥

I dont even know him, kami x pernah bercakap apatah lagi nak bergurau-senda. saya tidak tahu ape-ape pasal dye, ok, saya tahu name dye je. yang saya tahu, saya suka tgk muke dye. *blushing lagi* haha

sebagai seorang stalker yang hebat, saya telah pun menjumpai facebook dye, tapi saya x add pn dye as friend coz ktorg mmg bukan kawan. tapi kalau x add macam mana nak kenal kan? tu ape yang kawan saya cakap lah. hmmm

nak add ke x eh? hmmm, lets make it this way. kalau dalam mase 10 hari ni ( bermula esok ) saya ade terserempak dengan dye, saya akan add dye kat fb. saya juge akan memulakan pencarian details pasal dye melalui survey. sekiranya testimoni yang public berikan ok, InsyaAllah, saya akan beranikan diri untuk berkenalan dgn dye. Jika tidak, hmmm, lupekan je lah kan. I'll try not to be a problem seeker. haha *wink*

crushing again,
shafura onn

now, who's next?

2010-03-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

When it comes to a battle, I always fail to accept being defeated, at least from the eyes of public. And the loudness of my man-like voice has been a tool for my ‘enemies’ to measure how furious I am during tongue-tied, even though at some points, the high pitch of me doesn’t indicate anything, including my emotions.

The only that can portray the exact feelings I’m having is my face. And anger is the most hardest for me to hide. I’m quite a hot-tempered person, so everytime someone blows my top, I can feel blood rushing through my veins in higher speed than usual, causing instant redness of my face. So if u succeeded in making me to stop talking the minute after u said something, u definitely have increased my BP as my anger reflects in two ways, its either I turn quiet or worst, I cry.

My zodiac sign shows a twin, in simpler words, double personality. My moods change in seconds – u can see me laughing my ass out and u can also see me crying my eyes out 5 seconds later. Its easy to make me lose control, so, anyone up next?

What people don’t know about me is, no matter how hard it seems to see me raising a white flag, deep inside, like any other mankind, I do surrender. Maybe my fierce face doesn’t agree, but I’m still a Venus’s creature who is affected by an oestrogen, asking me to slow and cool down a little bit, and say “ u’re right and I’m done and off.” Its true but its rarely happening in public, as its what my heart says, not mouth. everyone hates to be a loser, but that doesnt mean they never be. right? :D

love battling,
shafura onn.

what? quote of the day?

2010-03-17T10:50:00.000-07:00

I've never thought I'd be motivated enough to scroll down the websites, searching for perfect quotes for the day. nor I'd be in the library to borrow books written by Dr. Fazilah Kamsah so that they'd sing me to sleep. but somehow, to be frank, I did collect some self-boosters whenever I crossed them during reading or stalking people's pages/blogs. and I didnt exactly know when the list started to grow longer and even longer day after day.

I've believed that if beauty is not immediately apparent, look closer for if God made it, there is beauty in it somewhere, in simpler forms, there're always blessings in disguise or there'll be no sunshine without rains. and the analogy would be, if there's no obstacle in life, would we appreciate life then? its a big NO-NO since we humans always take things for granted.

from the former US First Lady, Eleanor Roosevelt, no one can make u feel inferior without ur permission , I learned that pride stands out when I personally love myself, no matter how much people love or hate me. coz if I dont love myself, how am I going to love others?

A person is born with desires of the eyes and ears, and a liking for beautiful sights and sounds. If he gives way to them, they will lead him to immorality and lack of restriction, and any ritual principles and propriety will be abandoned by Xun Zi reminds me of the importance of taking care of my own desires so that i wont go far, stepping over the border. therefore, I'd hv to know my limits out of every single thing world offers me.

hmmm. its already 50 mins passed 2 in the morning, and my eyes are now half-opened. so, thats it. till we meet again. :)

now a little more motivated,
shafura onn

benci

2010-03-11T09:28:00.000-08:00

it sucks when u couldnt open up ur fb, in the sense that ur profile is failed to load and appear. u cant update ur status, u cant reply messages, and most importanly, u cant be an efficient stalker. benci. benci. :(

tired of trying,
shafura onn

confession

2010-03-11T02:27:00.001-08:00

now, its time for a confession of a hmmm, not a broken heart, but more or less from a furious horrific humanbeing. i know I'm imperfect, but who isnt?

to this person, I hate u. I really do. as much as I hate to hate u, the hatred grows thicker deep inside me. and dont expect me to change my feelings and perceptions towards u, coz its never gonna happen. u wish.

dont ever expect people to understand u, coz u urself never try to read people's minds, not to mention that u always hurt them. even ur bf bad-mouthed u, so, why'd u think u deserve my undivided attention?

plz realize that u're not that hot to condemn others. u not even reached the par. I cant see ur sex appeal as woman. so my royal advice to u, jgn perasan ok. jgn nak starkup. look back to urself, so that u're not blinded by ur own stupid self-indulgence.

yang perfect hanya ALLAH sahaja.

frankly,
shafura onn.

speechless

2010-03-05T21:25:00.000-08:00

it has been a while since he's gone for good, and maybe thts the best for him. it was quite a shock for me, but somehow I once predicted this would happen. so yeah, it happened and its pretty hard to say that I already lost a person who had marked his journey on my pathway of life.

anyhow, life has to go on, and thankful to God, it has turned out more awesome! ;D

my days so far went well, and since now is the 2nd last month of the term, my schedule is packed with thousands of stuff- 2 more midsem papers, college carnival, and an annual college dinner. too much to handle, but with the helps of others, insyaAllah, they'll all turn out great.

there'll be no electrical supply in ukm tmrw, so salma and I will be heading to KL for some entertainment. we couldnt enjoy karaoke-ing with no lyrics on the tv, could we? ;P

hmmm, thats all for now. toodles people!

now playing---> speechless, lady gaga

happier mankind,
shafura onn.

self indulgence

2010-02-22T10:01:00.000-08:00

Usah tertipu dengan tajuk Bahasa Inggeris di atas kerana buat julung-julung kalinya, saya akan memblog dalam Bahasa Melayu indah.

Saya telah membuat keputusan untuk mewar-warkan kelemahan saya selama saya hidup hampir 21 tahun. Antaranya ialah:

a) Saya masih tidak reti menyelesaikan masalah pembezaan matematik dan juga kamirannya.

b) Saya tidak boleh memakan buah jambu batu, bukan kerana alahan, tetapi memang tidak tergigit oleh gigi mahupun tertelan dek tekak.

c) Saya tidak menyukai sos/ sambal dan sifat-sifatnya.

d) Saya sukar mengingati sistem peredaran darah walaupun sudah hampir 10 kali mempelajarinya, sejak zaman sekolah menengah, matrikulasi dan universiti.

e) Saya tidak memakan ulam-ulaman dan banyak lagi sayuran yang lain.

f) Kepelbagaian biologi adalah antara topik bio yang paling susah buat saya untuk menghafalnya.

g) Saya amat tidak menyukai subjek fizik dan geografi, dan hal ini menyebabkan saya sukar mempelajari kedua-duanya.

h) Saya boleh memaafkan kesalahan orang lain tetapi amat sukar melupakan perbuatan mereka.

i) Saya boros.

j) Saya rasa kurang selesa bertudung putih.

k) Saya kurang arif mengenai matematik tambahan.

l) Saya tidak boleh membaca akhbar/majalah ketika berada di dalam kenderaan yang sedang bergerak. Jika saya melakukan sedemikian, saya akan berasa pening dan mungkin juga muntah.

m) Saya suka pada kopi dan terbitannya.

n) Saya tidak tahan makanan yang pedas.

o) Selalunya, saya hanya membaca ruangan gossip dan sukan pada akhbar.

p) Saya mudah mendapat flu dan ulser pada mulut. Kekurangan air dalam badan barangkali.

q) Saya mudah berasa sejuk dan saya tidak berapa suka pada kawasan yang berhawa dingin.

r) Saya takut pada lipas.

s) Saya berasa gerun untuk memandu semula selepas hampir 4 tahun tidak memegang stereng.

t) Saya tidak menyukai soya dan keju yang bukan berada di dalam makanan.

u) Saya suka memerhatikan orang lain. Jadi, AWAS kalian. haha ;P

Kelemahan-kelemahan inilah yang membezakan kita antara manusia. Oleh itu, saya tetap bersyukur dengan apa yang dianugerahkan olehNya.

yang benar,
shafura onn.

fieldwork. again??

2010-02-18T09:04:00.000-08:00

---> crime: fieldwork in mersing, johor

for sure u guys know what i'll be shitting about in this post. tomorrow, no, another about 7 hrs, i'll be going to hutan..., u guys arent reading any wrong, yes, its hutan i'm going to for my hmmm, not sure, 3rd or 4th fieldwork. bosan weyh! seriously! its not just because its a FIELDWORK, meaning that we'll all be tanning our fair skin under the trees in the forest (sometimes we do feel like filming the episodes of LOST), but also due to the fact that its still a holiday for the rest of students in all over Malaysia (exception for those who give votes on hiking or camping or whatever). yeah, i know some people do hope they can go somewhere out of campus during learning years, but come on, its a holiday. and since this term is a short one, we all NEED our days off. its a NECESSITY, ok? it'd be extremely awesome if i can enjoy my days in front of the home tv, on a couch, with chips and chocs all around my fingers.

anyhow, despite being trashed from my old fieldwork group (lecturer punye keje), i do personally hope for success in every task i'll be asking for. and also, since we'll all be camping, meaning that we'll all be occupied in small tents, i pray for my safetiness in the sense that no legs on my face or body during sleeping time. ;P

---> crime: fieldwork in tasik chini, pahang

fieldworker,
shafura onn.

into celebs

2010-02-10T14:55:00.000-08:00

Due to too many celebrities exposures which resulted from nowadays techno world, I end up crushing on some on-the-main-stream entertainment people. I find them perfect ( only from naked eyes ) coz they must hv some flaws, dont they?

1. the ultimate crush- it has been 4 yrs of liking him, and the counting hasnt reached the end yet.

---> CRISTIANO RONALDO DOS SANTOS AVEIRO

2. recent indulgement- current addiction which has succeeded in making me stay in front of the lappy for almost straight 11hrs.

---> KIM HYUN JOONG

3. i'm not being bias ( only to like mars creatures above ) or lesbian ( to love those at the remaining page of my post ). its just that i find them exquisite and gorgeous as they prove women are from venus. :P

i dont quite remember how i discovered her from the industry, but i was so blown away with her quintessential beauty the next minute of looking at her images.

---> MEGAN FOX

i started admiring her via the series of onetreehill, in which she played brooke davis. she was and is getting even hotter, even after she got divorced from chad michael murray for only 5 months of marriage.

---> SOPHIA BUSH

this fellow. i know she's quite something, frankly speaking, naughty. but at least, she's being herself. i dont care how many times people see her for court cases or how many scandals she possessed. wouldnt it be good to hv choices? haha ;P

---> FAZURA

no, its not what u're thinking. i'm not going to be an actress or a footballer or even a singer. to love doesnt mean to do. coz we cant do what we love all the time.

one left, i do gv my vote for HEIDI KLUM. ok. mls da nk letak gmbr and craps. tak tak. i dont wanna be a model. x deserve. haha ;P

celebs fan,
shafura onn.

i cant think what the title shud be

2010-02-09T09:11:00.000-08:00

i once asked my buddy," how did u manage to make ur own wake-up call without being pushed by others? u urself did it. i mean how could u be so sure about terminating ur relationship with ur bf (now ex-bf) though u know it aint gonna be easy as abc as it has been a year plus companion? ". she answered, " i remembered every single hurt he made to me. there's never been give and take, and i was the one who gave in all the time. i got tired and there's a limit to everything. it was when i couldnt take it any longer. thats it. thats really it. i called our relationship a day ever since then."

conveying the same message as the above situation, BOF ( i'm not promoting it just because i've been hypnotized by KHJ ), gives me a similar lesson which goes this way - one thing i ought to do by now, is to exactly know what i really want/say out of something or to fight for my needs for instance, a relationship ( whether to choose friends or partner ). or how to ignore destructive unnecessary comments from people i hate. it'd be good too if i can straight away smash those culprits with harsh words.

for the time being, i'm on efforts to avoid from indulging myself towards no-nonsense stuff. instead of being a risk-taker, i prefer not to give a shot on uncertain things. i know there's always a sunshine in every fall, but its a real pleasure to be able to be in my own comfort zone cause i'll never know when it'll be ended. instead of being a problem-seeker just to satisfy own's curiosity and some people say, necessity, it'd be awesome if i left the future to Him. of course He knows the best in every creature He created. thats what i'm gonna do now - FTF.

FTF stands for followtheflow.

future better person,
shafura onn.

oh my bf! ;P

2010-01-27T08:36:00.000-08:00

ok. it has been ages since I last updated this blog, ok, I lie. not ages, months shud be more likeable. frankly speaking, i hv soooo much to pen on, bt time limits me. bundles of works need to be done on time, even if its not, they do hv dateline of which the most significant thing that indicates what a work is. if not, will it be termed 'work'?

out of numerous topics to give a shot on, this time around, the award goes to the most recent addiction i had for already couples of weeks. that is KIM HYUN JOONG aka JI-HOO in BOYS OVER FLOWERS episodes. I was totally blown away with his look and character in the storyline. he made me thinking of 'indahnya ciptaan Tuhan' once again after i had it when looking at cristiano ronaldo (when i was in f5) and ashraf the starbucks guy (last year).haha I really feel like booking a flight ticket to KOREA just to see him! crazy enuf! as if if i go there i'd be able to meet him je kan. *sigh*

---> un-official boyfriend, KHJ.

I full-heartedly think that the craziness i encountered when i first had a celebrity crush on ronaldo has repeated, but now towards KHJ. I've downloaded his songs (w/pun x phm) and pics, and I watched his videos like times. and I even changed my msg tone to the song sang by his boyband. sangatla sengal. tp sp sroh dye cute and gentleman sgt, though dlm BOF je. haha ;P

gtg now. better things waiting in line. adios people. :D

now playing---> KHJ, A THING CALLED HAPPINESS

lol,
shafura onn.

time tells it all

2009-12-07T20:25:00.000-08:00

I’m still learning to really understand myself- how I’d react to conditions and situations, how I’d manipulate things, how I’d define problems, causes and consequences…u know, stuff like that. The more I try, the more complicated a thing sometimes be. And most of the time, u just cant figure matters out when they popped in seconds. You would be wishing…if only I did that, if only it turned out to be slightly better, if only this and that. And all u need is time to get things down to the roots and it is when you really believe that u subjected to life. Not the other way round.

As for myself, several times I realised that I overanalysed things. A simple one would turn out messy, and a big one would become a headache. And to be worst, I always drive a matter to my pathway of negative thoughts. Until someone wakes me up. And most of the time too, I just need maybe 10 mins to get myself back to neutral, no more or less, having positive thinking back on track. There are like some arguments running inside of me, emotionally, physically and what not. And if that’s the way of me understanding myself, I couldn’t be more grateful. Coz if that’s what God has created for me, I know its for the best in me as His servant.

I cant successfully describe what type of person I am, though I’ve lived for already 2 decades now. Coz for the last couple of yrs, I was alarmed if I couldn’t stand a person for a long time. This never happens on best buddies (as for now) but occasionally, this happens on friends. Initially, everything is so damn good- we do things together, we laugh, we ride on bikes, we share stories and problems…we do things that friends would do together. But after some time, I’d find myself suffocated with him/her. Stuff that we enjoyed doing has become a boring one and what I’d do is to avoid that person. I’m pretty well aware that he/she isn’t at any fault, but I’m very much suffocated with everything. As far as I can remember, there’re 4 persons I feel guilty on. I just need some time off. That’s all. I wouldn’t call our friendship a day coz u guys have been so helpful to me. Really.

Maybe, I’m a type of God’s creature that needs challenges in relationships. Maybe I cant stand something that is alright all day long. I need ups and downs (but I prefer ups more frequent) getting to know someone so that I always have new chapter to learn about that particular person. I rarely can stand having no tongue-tied or quarrels in a relationship. Coz when everything seems ok from our naked eyes as we intended to hide real feelings of matters just to get along well with a person, we are actually lying to ourselves and sooner or later, a boredom would definitely strike.

I have always believed that doubting people is a part of trying to know them and trust is actually giving up on trying to understand other. That’s the reason why I don’t fully trust a person coz behind every lies and secrets, there’s always something to learn about, regardless of who’s wrong. It is the time when u add knowledge about yourself and others. It is when you define things in life. It is when you actually grow up upon time.

lol,
shafura onn

Awesome Aussie !

2009-12-07T20:10:00.000-08:00

It has been nearly a month since Lala’s solemnization as well as wedding and couple of days since my trip to Sydney and Perth, Australia. Both were really fun and awesome and incredible! There’s no word that can really describe the entire situation of those two memorable events of the year for my family.

We took a flight from Singapore and headed to Perth. We arrived there at almost 1 in the morning and the shops in the airport were still closed (the shops will close and open as early as 5pm and 3am). But luckily they have free internet surfing there so I decided to check my emails as well as facebook. At about 5, we boarded to Sydney and the journey took about 4 hours. Can u imagine how big Australia is? Going from a state to another state by flight needs 4 hours. My math isn’t that good to calculate total hours needed for a whole country visit. :P

Though the holidays in aussie just took a few days, not even a week, but the experience is terrific! The Australians are very friendly (even the butcher says hi to me) and the weather is cold (tho now is summer) coz the wind blows way too strong. But its humidity is quite low (we had dry lips there). We found several halal restaurants as we stayed in Randwick . It is such a beautiful outstanding city where u can easily find eye-shoring beaches just near the walking roads.

The beaches are hardly describable. The water is so green and some of the beaches blue, and the sandy part which may be called intertidal zone of the sea is so great! There’s no rubbish or whatsoever lying on the sand or grass on land. U can hardly see even a plastic bag being swept away by the winds or waves. Not at all. Summer enables people in there to go surfing though the waves are pretty strong (now I believe what they show on tv and movies). We enjoyed looking at how they spend their time on sports. Even a pregnant woman goes swimming. Men would be shirtless regardless of whether they’re walking or cycling, and both genders prefer to be on ground bare-footed as many houses located nearby and they are extremely big, just like the sum of money needed to buy them. The houses can reach up to AU$ 6 MILL DOLLARS! (to convert to Malaysian ringgit, pls times 3.19)

And regardless of time, Australians do jog anywhere anytime they want. I once witnessed a woman jogging while pushing a stroller with a baby in it. I bet Gisele Bundchen would have green eyes looking at the woman’s body. Haha :P

Another thing that differs them from us is they prefer walking instead of to be on wheels. They even walk at night as if their country is very safe that they hardly find a pickpocket or beg-snatcher and thieves. U can see fearless faces of the people. And I didn’t get to see people drunk on streets. Maybe they just get drunk in bars. :P

We had our time shopping at Paddy’s market purchasing cheaper things compared to other stores. Therefore, there were sooo many people loitering around and u can easily get lost coz the place is very enormous. We also visited Sydney Wildlife World to see all types of aquatic animals ranging from sharks to crustaceans, and wildlife creatures like alligators, kangaroos and koalas (the koalas are very lazy and they enjoy sleeping on trees no matter how many people staring and teasing them). The place also provides the most dangerous species of spiders and snakes and these experiences are very useful to me as I’m a future biologist (Insyaallah) coz I get to see them with my naked eyes. How wonderful. :D

We went to Queen Victoria’s Building (shopping mall) as well as the streets nearby. We also marked our footsteps on The Rocks, Sydney Harbour and the landmark of Australia, a bridge called…(I forget the name of it). Haha :D

Australia is an awesome country and I’m very grateful to be able to witness other different creatures of Allah. But my love still goes to my first-greeted origin, Malaysia. It is true that people say “ there’s no place like home “. And I’m grateful too to be Malaysian. 

lol,
shafura onn

when pictures speak

2009-11-01T09:40:00.000-08:00

Internet is kinda sucks lately that makes me cnt help from looking back to almost all my pics in the lappy. The ones that grabbed my attention a whole heck of a lot were those taken in matrix. I didn’t realise how much I miss hvg real good moments back then until those photographs alarmed me how wonderful it was. I really miss all that I had there, ranging from friendships, food, lectures, u name it. Though it was sort of rural area that promised me not more than kfc and Watson, but no one can ever describe the exact scenery of that place. Everything wasn’t perfect too, but we enjoyed those imperfections. If not, where would the fun be in that?

Matrix was the one that changed my entire perspectives towards the pros and cons of camping. It actually exposes you to numbers of knowledge and experience, not just the exhausting part which the only thing I was certain of before. Yeah. I’m not kinda girl who loves the sweating part of outdoor stuff- jungle trekking, rock climbing and what not. But that doesn’t mean I adore doing household chores like cleaning and cooking too. Just don’t see me as someone who only likes shopping and spending, coz I do like hunting. Food hunting. :p

Buddies were the only company I had in there. They were my everything. There’s no such thing as “gth with him/ her” or “its up to them if they don’t wanna come to lectures”. Coz everyone was so good and caring that a person can really rely on. And it was like “ ur probs are mine too. Lets hv a talk.” ( but there’s no such thing like “ur bf is mine too, or else we’d hv a fight in the ladies.”) Haha. :p

Now everything’s gone, no, actually finished and I’m already in my 2nd yr of degree. But things are still fresh in my mind and I’d probably remember them for the rest of my life, no, teenage life would be more convincing. Haha :p

My eyes shud be on notes now as I hv 5 papers to go for final exam. Fellow comrades, put ur hearts out when answering the questions eh. :D

• Selamat maju jaya
• All the best
• Hao Yun
• Valthukaal

One Malaysia. United we stand, divided we fall.

lol,
Shafura onn.

ONE'S DREAM GUY

2009-10-30T11:38:00.000-07:00

it is 2.38am and apparently surprising, i couldnt sleep even after i tried to. so after a very deep thinking, here's the outcome:

I personally prefer a guy who…

1. is comfortably wearing shorts and looking good in Baju Melayu.
2. loves Aerosmith but at the same time, adores Taylor Swift.
3. looks smart in spectacles and admirable when he’s not.
4. rarely puts on hair gel.
5. appears well in Mohican as well as side-swept hairstyles.
6. is brilliant but sengal too at some times.
7. looks cute in shades.
8. enjoys going nuts during exam time.
9. is charming in t-shirt as well as blazers.
10. wears slippers and sneakers perfectly.
11. bolds enough to wear bright red and striking yellow tops.
12. loses himself in washed-out lose jeans.
13. is taller and slender than me. haha :p
14. takes a real good care of himself, his things, and his relationships.

lol,
shafura onn.

forever sis

2009-10-30T09:04:00.000-07:00

it has been couples of weeks since i last posted something here. life is still good, same like it was back then. it is a week to go for my sister's wedding and i bet my parents are so very nervous. thats not to mention the exact feeling of my sis. i'm pretty excited about it, though her marriage might tear apart our closeness a bit. thats fine coz i know someone will always take a real good care of her and cheer her up. someone that has never tired in understanding her, consoling her, advising her, accompanying her. someone that completes my sister. someone that is my sis's another half.

i will definitely miss our sisters time together. jalan-jalan, shopping, fitting, laughing, etc. u hv been such an awesome buddy to me n eqa. lala, i do hope and pray for the best of u & hairie. may u guys be blessed wif happiness in life here and after. :)

* our kids time wif toknah.
* red-shirt girl: lala
* from left sitting on floor: me, eqa.
* that lil baby is our cousin, hasiff.

lol,
shafura onn.

can u stop being sarcastic over people??

2009-10-01T02:38:00.000-07:00

i've recently found a person who was being sooo damn irritating and annoying and i really dont get the reasons lying behind his behaviours. if u cant afford to put the make ups on, stop criticising those who can (u know they do well and jealousy is all over u). if u cant get the attention like others do, dont ever try to be a seeker coz it shows that u're totally a loser. if u're unable to crack up some jokes, juz laugh to those who are capable at making people losing their jaws to the ground. plz dont ever pretend to be a person u're not capable to and the most important thing, LOOK DEEPLY INTO YOURSELF BEFORE U EVEN THINK TO BITCH BOUT OTHERS. coz u'd probably show how stupid you are when u spitted bad words to others while you yourself are still FULL of IMPERFECTIONS. u cant even hide or shadow them. not a single one.

yep. i'm losing my grip due to anger. he blew my top and yes, i was pissed off. i'm still now. to H, dont let me bump into u. coz u might get urself bald with some cuts & bruises on ur head. u'd even think of transferring to other universities. or faculties maybe. yes, u guys are not reading any wrong, i'm a bit rebellious when it comes to ketidakpuasan hati. coz there's only a slight distinction btwn my moods. meaning that if i dont get u mad, dont ever make me be one afterwards.

red devil,
shafura onn